When a gaudy carriage bowls along, With a coachman perched on high, Solemn and fat, a cockade in his hat, Just like a big blue fly, I swing my leaders across the road, And put a stop to his jaunt, And the ladies cry, "John, John, drive on!" And I laugh when he says "I caun't." Oh, life to me is a big picnic, From the rise to the set of sun! The swells that ride in their fancy drags Don't begin to have my fun. I'm king of the road, though I wear no crown, As I leisurely move along, For I own the streets, and I hold them down, And I love to hear this song: "Get out of the way with your dray!" "I won't!" "Get out of the way, I say!" But I stiffen my back, and I stay on the track, And I don't get out of the way. BILL'S COURTSHIP BY FRANK L. STANTON I Bill looked happy as could be One bright mornin'; an' says he: "Folks has been a-tellin' me Mollie's set her cap my way; An' I'm goin' thar' to-day With the license; so, ol' boy, Might's well shake, an' wish me joy! Never seen a woman yit This here feller couldn't git!" II Now, it happened, that same day, I'd been lookin' Mollie's way;-- Jest had saddled my ol' hoss To go canterin' across Parson Jones's pastur', an' Ax her fer her heart an' han'! So, when Bill had had his say An' done set his weddin' day, I lit out an' rid that way. III Mollie met me at the door:-- "Glad to see yer face once more!" She--says she: "Come in--come in!" ("It's the best man now will win," Thinks I to myself.) Then she Brung a rocker out fer me On the cool piazza wide, With her own chair right 'longside! IV In about two hours I knowed In that race I had the road! Talked in sich a winnin' way Got her whar' she named the day, With her shiny head at rest On my speckled Sunday vest! An', whilst in that happy state, Bill--he rid up to the gate. V Well, sir-ee!... He sot him down-- Cheapest lookin' chap in town! (Knowed at once I'd set my traps!) Talked 'bout weather, an' the craps, An' a thousan' things; an' then-- Jest the lonesomest o' men-- Said he had so fur to ride, Reckoned it wuz time to slide! VI But I hollered out: "Ol' boy, Might's well shake, an' wish me joy! I hain't seen the woman yit That this feller couldn't git!" THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED AN OWL BY ANNE VIRGINIA CULBERTSON When the children got home from the nutting expedition and had eaten supper, they sat around discontentedly, wishing every few minutes that their mother had returned. "I wish mamma would come back," said Ned. "I never know what to do in the evening when she isn't home." "I 'low 'bout de bes' you-all kin do is ter lemme putt you ter baid," said Aunt 'Phrony.