American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Don't want to go to bed," "I'm not sleepy," "Want to stay up," came in
chorus from three pairs of lips.
"You chillen is wusser dan night owls," said the old woman. "Ef you
keeps on wid dis settin'-up-all-night bizness, I boun' some er you gwine
turn inter one'r dese yer big, fussy owls wid yaller eyes styarin', jes'
de way li'l Mars Kit doin' dis ve'y minnit, tryin' ter keep hisse'f
awake. An' dat 'mines me uv a owl whar turnt hisse'f inter a man, an' ef
a owl kin do dat, w'ats ter hinner one'r you-all turnin' inter a owl, I
lak ter know? So you bes' come 'long up ter baid, an' ef you is right
spry gettin' raidy, mebbe I'll whu'l in an' tell you 'bout dat owl."
The little procession moved upstairs, Coonie, the house-boy, bringing up
the rear with an armful of sticks and some fat splinters of lightwood,
which were soon blazing with an oily sputter. Coonie scented a story,
and his bullet pate was bent over the fire an unnecessarily long time,
as he blew valiant puffs upon the flames which no longer needed his
assistance, and arranged and rearranged his skilfully piled sticks.
"Quit dat foolishness, nigger," said 'Phrony at last, "an' set down on
de ha'th an' 'have yo'se'f. Ef you wanter stay, whyn't you sesso,
stidder blowin' yo'se'f black in de face? Now, den, ef y'all raidy, I
gwine begin.
"Dish yer w'at I gwine tell happen at de time er de 'ear w'en de Injuns
wuz havin' der green-cawn darnse, an' I reckon you-all 'bout ter ax me
w'at dat is, so I s'pose I mought ez well tell you. 'Long in Augus' w'en
de Injuns stopped wu'kkin' de cawn, w'at we call 'layin' by de crap,'
den dey cu'd mos' times tell ef 'twuz gwineter be a good crap, so dey
'mence ter git raidy fer de darnse nigh a month befo'han'. Dey went ter
de medincin' man an' axed him fer ter 'pint de day. Den medincin' man he
sont out runners ter tell ev'b'dy, an' de runners dey kyar'd
'memb'ance-strings wid knots tied all 'long 'em, an' give 'em ter de
people fer ter he'p 'em 'member. De folks dey'd cut off a knot f'um de
string each day, an' w'en de las' one done cut off, den dey know de day
fer de darnse wuz come. An' de medincin' man he sont out hunters, too,
fer ter git game, an' mo' runners fer ter kyar' hit ter de people so's't
dey mought cook hit an' bring hit in.
"W'en de time come, de people ga'rred toge'rr an' de medincin' man he
tucken some er de new cawn an' some uv all de craps an' burnt hit, befo'
de people wuz 'lowed ter eat any. Atter de burnin', den he tucken a year
er cawn in one han' an' ax fer blessin's an' good craps wid dat han',
w'ile he raise up tu'rr han' ter de storm an' de win' an' de hail an'
baig 'em not ter bring evil 'pun de people. Atter dat, dey all made der
bre'kfus' offen roas'in'-years er de new cawn an' den de darnse begun
an' lasted fo' days an' fo' nights; de men dress' up in der bes' an' de
gals wearin' gre't rattles tied on der knees, dat shuk an' rattled wid
ev'y step.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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