American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"De nex' night he come erg'in and bringed a lot er game wid 'im, an' he
putt dat down at de do' an' set hisse'f down by de fire an' stay dar,
same ez befo', not sayin' nair' wu'd. Dat kind er aggervex de gal's
mammy at las', 'kase she wuz one'r dese yer wimmins whar no sooner gits
w'at dey ax fer dan dey ain' kyare 'bout hit no mo.' She want son-in-law
whar kain't talk, she git him, an' den she want one whar kin arnser
back. She gittin' kind er jubous 'bout him, but she 'feared ter say
anything fer fear he quit an' she git no mo' game.
"Thu'd night he come onct mo' wid a passel er game, an' she mighty
cur'ous 'bout him by dat time. She say ter husse'f, 'Well! ef I ain' got
de curisomest son-in-law in dese diggin's, den I miss de queschin. I
wunner w'at mek him set wid his face turnt f'um de fire an' blinkin' his
eyes all de time? I wunner w'y he ain' nuver onloose dat blankit, an'
w'y he g'longs off 'fo' de daylight an' nuver comes back 'twel de dark.'
"'Oh, mammy,' sez de gal, sez she, 'ain' I tol' you he kain't speak ow'
langwidge, an' I 'spec' he done come f'um dat wo'm kyountry whar we year
tell 'bout, 'way off yonner, an' dat huccome he hatter keep his blankit
roun' him. I reckon he git so tired huntin' all day, no wunner he hatter
blink his eyes ter keep 'em open.'
"But her mammy wan't sassified, 'kase hit mighty hard ter haid off one'r
dese yer pryin' wimmins, so she go outside an' ga'rr up some lightwood
splinters an' th'ow 'em on de fire, dis-away, all uv a suddint." Here
the old woman rose and threw on a handful of lightwood, which blazed up
with a great sputtering, and in the strong light she stood before the
fire enacting the part of the scared Owl for the delighted yet
half-startled children.
"An' w'en she th'owed hit on," Aunt 'Phrony proceeded, "de fire blaze
an' spit an' sputter jes' lak dis do, an' de ooman she fotched a yell
an' cried out, she did, 'Lan' er de mussiful! W'at cur'ous sort er wood
is dish yer dat ac' lak dis?' De Owl he wuz startle' an' he look roun'
suddint, dis-a-way, over his shoulder, an' de wimmins dey let out a
turr'ble screech, 'kase dey seed 'twa'n't nuttin' but a big owl settin'
dar blinkin'.
"Owl seed he wuz foun' out, an' he riz up an' give his gre't, wide wings
a big flop, lak dis, an' swoop out de do' cryin' 'Oo-goo-coo!
Oo-goo-coo!' ez he flewed off inter de darkness." Here Aunt 'Phrony
spread her arms like wings and made a swoop half-way across the room to
the bedside of the startled children. "An'," she continued, "de wind
howl mo'nful all night long, an' seem ter de gal an' her mammy lak 'twuz
de voice of po' Oo-goo-coo mo'nin' fer de gal he love."
"And didn't he ever come back?" said Ned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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