American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
I find by reference to this map that Duluth is situated somewhere near
the western end of Lake Superior; but as there is no dot or other mark
indicating its exact location, I am unable to say whether it is actually
confined to any particular spot, or whether "it is just lying around
there loose." (Renewed laughter.) I really can not tell whether it is
one of those ethereal creations of intellectual frostwork, more
intangible than the rose-tinted clouds of a summer sunset,--one of those
airy exhalations of the speculator's brain, which I am told are ever
flitting in the form of towns and cities along those lines of railroad,
built with Government subsidies, luring the unwary settlers as the
mirage of the desert lures the famishing traveler on, and ever on, until
it fades away in the darkening horizon,--or whether it is a real _bona
fide_, substantial city, all "staked off," with the lots marked with
their owners' names, like that proud commercial metropolis recently
discovered on the desirable shores of San Domingo. (Laughter.) But,
however that may be, I am satisfied Duluth is there, or thereabout, for
I see it stated here on this map that it is exactly thirty-nine hundred
and ninety miles from Liverpool (laughter), though I have no doubt, for
the sake of convenience, it will be moved back ten miles, so as to make
the distance an even four thousand. (Renewed laughter.)
Then, sir, there is the climate of Duluth, unquestionably the most
salubrious and delightful to be found anywhere on the Lord's earth. Now,
I have always been under the impression, as I presume other gentlemen
have, that in the region around Lake Superior it was cold enough for at
least nine months in the year to freeze the smokestack off a locomotive.
(Great laughter.) But I see it represented on this map that Duluth is
situated exactly halfway between the latitudes of Paris and Venice, so
that gentlemen who have inhaled the exhilarating airs of the one or
basked in the golden sunlight of the other may see at a glance that
Duluth must be a place of untold delights (laughter), a terrestrial
paradise, fanned by the balmy zephyrs of an eternal spring, clothed in
the gorgeous sheen of ever-blooming flowers, and vocal with the silvery
melody of nature's choicest songsters. (Laughter.) In fact, sir, since I
have seen this map I have no doubt that Byron was vainly endeavoring to
convey some faint conception of the delicious charms of Duluth when his
poetic soul gushed forth in the rippling strains of that beautiful
rhapsody:
"Know ye the land of the cedar and vine,
Where the flowers ever blossom, the beams ever shine;
Where the light wings of Zephyr, oppressed with perfume,
Wax faint o'er the gardens of Gul in her bloom;
Where the citron and olive are fairest of fruit,
And the voice of the nightingale never is mute;
Where the tints of the earth and the hues of the sky,
In color though varied, in beauty may vie?"
(Laughter.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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