The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) — John Shaqi
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
General
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"That looks like a heap of money for a heifer, doesn't it, Colonel
Blount?"
"A heap of money? Why, no. Heap of _money_? Why, what do you mean?"
"Heifers didn't bring that before the road came through. Why, you would
have had to drive that heifer twenty-five miles before you could get a
market, and then she wouldn't have brought over twelve dollars. Now,
fifteen dollars, seems to me, is about right."
"Well, let the heifer go. But there was a cow killed three miles below
here the other day. Neighbors of mine. I reckon that claim agent
wouldn't want to allow any more than fifteen dollars for Jim Bowles'
cow, neither."
"Maybe not."
"Well, never mind about the cow, either; but look here. A nigger lost
his wife down there, killed by these steam kyars--looks like the niggers
get _fascinated_ by them kyars. But here's Bill coming at last. Now, Mr.
Eddring, we'll just make a little julep. Tell me, how do you make a
julep, sir?"
Eddring hitched a little nearer on the board-pile. "Well, Colonel
Blount," said he, "in our family we used to have an old silver mug--sort
of plain mug, you know, few flowers around the edge of it--been in the
family for years. Now, you take a mug like that and let it lie in the
ice box all the time, and when you take it out, it's sort of got a white
frost all over it. Now, my old daddy, he would take this mug and put
some fine ice into it,--not too fine. Then he'd take a little cut loaf
sugar, in another glass, and he'd mash it up in a little water--not too
much water--then he'd pour that in over the ice. Then he would pour in
some good corn whisky, till all the interstices of that ice were filled
plumb up; then he'd put some mint--"
"Didn't smash the mint? Say, he didn't smash the mint, did he?" said
Colonel Blount, eagerly, hitching over toward the speaker.
"Smash it? I should say not, sir! Sometimes, at certain seasons of the
mint, he might just sort of take a twist at the leaf, to sort of release
a little of the flavor, you know. You don't want to be rough with mint.
Just twist it gently between the thumb and finger. Then you set it in
nicely around the edge of the glass. Sometimes just a little powder of
fine sugar around on top of the mint leaves, and then a straw--"
"Sir," said Colonel Blount, gravely rising and taking off his hat, "you
are welcome to my home!"
Eddring, with equal courtesy, arose and removed his own hat.
"For my part," resumed Blount, judicially, "I rather lean to a piece of
cut glass, for the green and the crystal look mighty fine together. I
don't always make them with any sugar on top of the mint. But, you know,
just a circle of mint--not crushed--not crushed, mind you--just a green
ring of fragrance, so that you can bury your nose in it and forget your
troubles. Sir, allow me once more to shake your hand. I think I know a
gentleman when I see one."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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