American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
The music struck up just then and saved me. The next moment I was far,
far at sea in the plain quadrille. We carried it through with
distinguished success; that is, we got as far as "balance around" and
"half-a-man-left," when I smelled hot whisky punch, or something of that
nature. I tracked the scent through several rooms, and finally
discovered a large bowl from which it emanated. I found the omnipresent
Unreliable there, also. He set down an empty goblet and remarked that he
was diligently seeking the gentlemen's dressing room. I would have shown
him where it was, but it occurred to him that the supper table and the
punch bowl ought not to be left unprotected; wherefore we stayed there
and watched them until the punch entirely evaporated. A servant came in
then, to replenish the bowl, and we left the refreshments in his charge.
We probably did wrong, but we were anxious to join the hazy dance. The
dance was hazier than usual, after that. Sixteen couples on the floor at
once, with a few dozen spectators scattered around, is calculated to
have its effect in a brilliantly lighted parlor, I believe. Everything
seemed to buzz, at any rate. After all the modern dances had been danced
several times, the people adjourned to the supper-room. I found my
wardrobe out there, as usual, with the Unreliable in it. His old
distemper was upon him: he was desperately hungry. I never saw a man eat
as much as he did in my life. I have various items of his supper here in
my note-book. First, he ate a plate of sandwiches; then he ate a
handsomely iced poundcake; then he gobbled a dish of chicken salad;
after which he ate a roast pig; after that, a quantity of blanc-mange;
then he threw in several dozen glasses of punch to fortify his appetite,
and finished his monstrous repast with a roast turkey. Dishes of
brandy-grapes, and jellies, and such things, and pyramids of fruits
melted away before him as shadows fly at the sun's approach. I am of the
opinion that none of his ancestors were present when the five thousand
were miraculously fed in the old Scriptural times. I base my opinion on
the twelve bushels of scraps and the little fishes that remained over
after that feast. If the Unreliable himself had been there, the
provisions would just about have held out, I think.
... At about two o'clock in the morning the pleasant party broke up and
the crowd of guests distributed themselves around town to their
respective homes; and after thinking the fun all over again, I went to
bed at four o'clock. So having been awake forty-eight hours, I slept
forty-eight, in order to get even again.
CITY MARSHAL PERRY
John Van Buren Perry, recently re-elected City Marshal of Virginia City,
was born a long time ago, in County Kerry, Ireland, of poor but honest
parents, who were descendants, beyond question, of a house of high
antiquity. The founder of it was distinguished for his eloquence; he was
the property of one Baalam, and received honorable mention in the Bible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account