The fact that most modern women of culture devote themselves to some
branch of social work, often to several, contributes still further to
the over-exertion of the mother. Even when this occurs from pure
altruism, the motive cannot prevent such altruism from becoming
sometimes a disease of which one may die quite as surely as of other
diseases. This death is quite as immoral as any other resulting from
neglected hygiene. No one has the right to perish from altruism, except
when destruction is the _condition_ of his fulfilling his duty. But in
many cases the occasion is the widely ramified social activity of the
woman for whom the home now often falls short; not a result of altruism,
but a manifestation of that desire for power which once was satisfied in
the family. Or it may be a form of the hysteria characteristic of the
present time. In the sixteenth century, the hysterical were burned as
witches; now they “sacrifice” themselves to an activity which offers
them in reality the variety, the intoxication of publicity—in a word,
the life stimulus they need. But even sound, sincere, and conscientious
women are driven by the woman movement and by social work to assume
pseudo duties, for which the real duties are pushed aside. If instead of
instituting official inquiries among wives and mothers as to what they
can accomplish, one should direct the same questions to their husbands
and children, these would, if they dared be honest, testify that _they_
must pay the price for the altruistic activity.
Since the work of married women outside the home, the woman movement,
and the social work began, one seldom finds a wholly sound, joyous,
harmonious wife and mother. The constant complaint of the modern woman
is that she “never has time.” The minority who live a life of luxury,
wholly free from work, while the husband works feverishly to provide the
luxury which neither will forego, telephone away a quarter of the day
making appointments concerning the toilette, visits, and amusements,
which take up the remaining three quarters of the day. And others,
loaded down with household work or divided between this and work for
their livelihood, how shall they find time!
Least of all have they the time necessary for the countless little
tokens of tenderness which intensify all relationships between people. A
French mother who became a widow and brought up her children by means of
her own work received from her son, grown to a youth, the judgment:
“Thou hast never loved us.” Too late, it became clear to her that “it
requires time to love,” that it is not enough to feel love, and, looked
at as a whole, to act with love—no, love must be expressed. And for this
the harassed mother of to-day lacks time and quiet.
Formerly, it was only the husband and father who had no time; the wife
and mother had it and could thus preserve the warmth of the home. But
now?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account