“It is no sudden interest,” he explained. “I have always loved the
conquest of space. The same motor drives the automobile and the
aeroplane. Is not the rudder for the air much like that which steers
a sailboat at sea? One grows out of the other. But what does the
sensation of speed amount to, compared with the satisfaction of
springing free from the soil and attaining true liberty at last? And
the field is infinite.”
I listened without interrupting him, knowing that he was interested
only in his own visions.
“_She_ did not dissuade me when I thought of it before.” (He did not
mention his wife more directly.) “To her, work was the glory of man. ‘I
am afraid,’ she said to me, ‘but I will pray. A woman can afford to be
afraid.’ _The other_, at Rheims, always cried to me to go higher.”
What other? I abandoned any attempt to understand this unexplained
allusion. On several previous occasions I had questioned his incoherent
remarks. This time it was better not to interrupt him.
“After I lost her, I endured days of agony. I should have been glad to
punish myself, to scourge myself.”
Again I found trembling on his lips the same confession of some
mysterious guilt which had come when he heard “The Lord of Burleigh.”
Here was the secret that tormented him. After a moment’s hesitation he
went on:
“Even in the greatest suffering, the desire for life keeps its power.
It seemed to me that danger would bring me nearer to her and at the
same time in danger there is an exaltation which carries you one does
not know where. Perhaps my vocation, as you call it, is due to that.
Some old investigations and scientific studies had prepared me for
it. I have perfected somewhat the work of others, but I have not yet
invented anything. My merit is unimportant. Do not exaggerate it. Only
good luck and a certain audacity have enabled me to attain interesting
results. Ah, if I could discover some automatic way to assure lateral
stability, that would be another story.”
Our path ended in the reeds along the bank of the pond. He cast loose
the boat that was moored there, and I took the oars, while he steered.
After we had pushed off, he continued:
“The monoplane which I use I have named for her, but nobody knows it.
Very soon I shall not have the right to do so.”
Why would he not have the right?
I inquired about his experiments in altitude.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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