Did he think I knew nothing of his conduct? He had arranged for leaving
his cards and going away for a while, in order not to make our breach
evident, and the bitter sarcasms which I had anticipated were never
uttered. He continued to say only pleasant things about us, and it
became a matter of general discussion that he had changed completely
and was now inclined to enjoy solitude.
How had it become possible for a worldly cynic of his stamp so suddenly
to withdraw from society and gain opinions so radically different from
those he had always held? I can now explain that mystery. My wife had
given him a new vista of life when she made him realise for the first
time what respect is due a woman. He had never before met a woman of
such ideals. I feel a supreme shame in thinking that he was in advance
of me, perhaps, in making the honourable reparation to Raymonde, the
amend which I was destined to make only later.
* * *
Spring had just begun when she asked me to allow her to return to the
Sleeping Woods. I opposed it on account of the lack of comfort and the
cold. But Paris did not agree with her, and she was gradually losing
weight alarmingly. At last I consented, as I recognised vaguely my
wrongs against her, to make the sacrifice, for such indeed it was for
me, to bury myself in “the desert” of Madame Mairieux.
For the past few years we had spent very little time there, because
I enjoyed travelling constantly to new places, while Raymonde found
pleasure in the associations of spots she knew and loved. At my request
we always left the baby in charge of her grandparents.
“I’ll go with you,” I said heroically after much hesitation, as she
suggested that she should go alone and that I should remain in Paris.
However, I insisted that I should go too, and during the journey I
dwelt on my heroism all the way.
It was pouring, when we arrived.
“One of the joys of the country,” I muttered bitterly.
But it was Raymonde’s own beloved land. She smilingly greeted all her
favourite trees; I believe she even loved the rain that was sent to
nourish them.
M. Mairieux scanned his daughter critically, and I could see that he
was worried by her altered appearance. He glanced from her to me, and I
read in his face that he held me responsible for the change. Without a
word he convicted me. Without a word of explanation he understood the
drama that was in progress. Raymonde herself would have died rather
than complain to him.
Mme. Mairieux, on the other hand, was enthusiastic about my wife’s
appearance.
“Of course she has grown a little thinner, but it is fashionable
nowadays to be slender,” was her characteristic remark.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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