_Phæd._ But Gripus is a person of quality, and my lady's uncle; and if he marries me, I shall take place of my lady.--Hark, your wife! she has sent her tongue before her. I hear the thunderclap already; there is a storm approaching. _Merc._ Yes, of thy brewing; I thank thee for it. O how I should hate thee now, if I could leave loving thee! _Phæd._ Not a word of the dear golden goblet, as you hope for--you know what, Sosia. _Merc._ You give me hope, then---- _Phæd._ Not absolutely hope neither; but gold is a great cordial in love matters; and the more you apply of it, the better.--[_Aside._] I am honest, that is certain; but when I weigh my honesty against the goblet, I am not quite resolved on which side the scale will turn. [_Exit_ PHÆD. _Merc._ [_Aloud._] Farewell, Phædra; remember me to my wife, and tell her---- _Enter_ BROMIA. _Brom._ Tell her what, traitor? that you are going away without seeing her? _Merc._ That I am doing my duty, and following my master. _Brom._ 'Umph!--so brisk, too! your master did his duty to my lady before he parted: He could leave his army in the lurch, and come galloping home at midnight to have a lick at the honey-pot; and steal to-bed as quietly as any mouse, I warrant you. My master knew what belonged to a married life; but you, sirrah--you trencher-carrying rascal--you worse than dunghill-cock; that stood clapping your wings, and crowing without doors, when you should have been at roost, you villain-- _Merc._ Hold your peace, dame Partlet, and leave your cackling; my master charged me to stand centry without doors. _Brom._ My master! I dare swear thou beliest him; my master is more a gentleman than to lay such an unreasonable command upon a poor distressed married couple, and after such an absence too. No, there is no comparison between my master and thee, thou sneaksby. _Merc._ No more than there is betwixt my lady and you, Bromia. You and I have had our time in a civil way, spouse, and much good love has been betwixt us; but we have been married fifteen years, I take it; and that hoighty toighty business ought, in conscience, to be over. _Brom._ Marry come up, my saucy companion! I am neither old nor ugly enough to have that said to me. _Merc._ But will you hear reason, Bromia? my lord and my lady are yet in a manner bride and bridegroom; they are in honey-moon still: do but think, in decency, what a jest it would be to the family, to see two venerable old married people lying snug in a bed together, and sighing out fine tender things to one another! _Brom._ How now, traitor, darest thou maintain that I am past the age of having fine things said to me? _Merc._ Not so, my dear; but certainly I am past the age of saying them. _Brom._ Thou deservest not to be yoked with a woman of honour, as I am, thou perjured villain.