_Merc._ Ay, you are too much a woman of honour, to my sorrow; many a poor husband would be glad to compound for less honour in his wife, and more quiet. Pr'ythee, be but honest and continent in thy tongue, and do thy worst with every thing else about thee. _Brom._ Thou wouldst have a woman of the town, wouldst thou! to be always speaking my husband fair, to make him digest his cuckoldom more easily! wouldst thou be a wittol, with a vengeance to thee? I am resolved I'll scour thy hide for that word. [_Holds up her ladle at him._ _Merc._ Thou wilt not strike thy lord and husband, wilt thou? _Brom._ Since thou wilt none of the meat, 'tis but justice to give thee the bastings of the ladle. [_She courses him about._ Merc. [_Running about._] Was ever poor deity so hen-pecked as I am! nay, then 'tis time to charm her asleep with my enchanted rod, before I am disgraced or ravished. [_Plucks out his Caduceus, and strikes her upon the shoulder with it._ _Brom._ What, art thou rebelling against thy anointed wife! I'll make thee--how now--What, has the rogue bewitched me! I grow dull and stupid on the sudden--I can neither stir hand nor foot--I am just like him--I have lost the use of all my--members--[_Yawning._]--I can't so much as wag my tongue--neither, and that's the last liv--ing part about a--woman-- [_Falls down._ MERCURY _alone_. Lord, what have I suffered for being but a counterfeit married man one day! If ever I come to this house as a husband again--then--and yet that then was a lie too; for, while I am in love with this young gipsy, Phædra, I must return. But lie thou there, thou type of Juno; thou that wantest nothing of her tongue, but the immortality. If Jupiter ever let thee set foot in heaven, Juno will have a rattling second of thee; and there will never be a fair day in heaven or earth after it: For two such tongues will break the poles asunder; And, hourly scolding, make perpetual thunder. [_Exit_ MERCURY. ACT III. SCENE I.--_Before_ AMPHITRYON'S _Palace_. AMPHITRYON _and_ SOSIA. _Amph._ Now, sirrah, follow me into the house; thou shalt be convinced at thy own cost, villain! What horrible lies hast thou told me! such improbabilities, such stuff, such nonsense!--that the monster, with two long horns, that frighted the great king, and the devil at the stone-cutter's, are truths to these.[8] _Sos._ I am but a slave, and you are master; and a poor man is always to lie when a rich man is pleased to contradict him: but, as sure as this is our house-- _Amph._ So sure 'tis thy place of execution.--Thou art not made for lying neither. _Sos._ That's certain; for all my neighbours say I have an honest face; or else they would never call me cuckold, as they do. _Amph._ I mean thou hast not wit enough to make a lie that will hang together: thou hast set up a trade that thou hast not stock enough to manage. O that I had but a crab-tree cudgel for thy sake!