_Si_. Well, then, you had some adventure like Phaon's, when he rowed Aphrodite across from Chios; your God granted your prayer and made you young and fair and lovely again. _Pol_. No, no; I was as you see me, and I was the object of all desire. _Si_. Oh, I give it up. _Pol_. Why, I should have thought you knew the violent passion for old men who have plenty of money and no children. _Si_. Ah, now I comprehend your beauty, old fellow; it was the _Golden_ Aphrodite bestowed it. _Pol_. I assure you, Simylus, I had a good deal of satisfaction out of my lovers; they idolized me, almost. Often I would be coy and shut some of them out. Such rivalries! such jealous emulations! _Si_. And how did you dispose of your fortune in the end? _Pol_. I gave each an express promise to make him my heir; he believed, and treated me to more attentions than ever; meanwhile I had another genuine will, which was the one I left, with a message to them all to go hang. _Si_. Who was the heir by this one? one of your relations, I suppose. _Pol_. Not likely; it was a handsome young Phrygian I had lately bought. _Si_. Age? _Pol_. About twenty. _Si_. Ah, I can guess his office. _Pol_. Well, you know, he deserved the inheritance much better than they did; he was a barbarian and a rascal; but by this time he has the best of society at his beck. So he inherited; and now he is one of the aristocracy; his smooth chin and his foreign accent are no bars to his being called nobler than Codrus, handsomer than Nireus, wiser than Odysseus. _Si_. Well, _I_ don't mind; let him be Emperor of Greece, if he likes, so long as he keeps the property away from that other crew. H. X _Charon. Hermes. Various Shades_ _Ch_. I'll tell you how things stand. Our craft, as you see, is small, and leaky, and three-parts rotten; a single lurch, and she will capsize without more ado. And here are all you passengers, each with his luggage. If you come on board like that, I am afraid you may have cause to repent it; especially those who have not learnt to swim. _Her_. Then how are we to make a trip of it? _Ch_. I'll tell you. They must leave all this nonsense behind them on shore, and come aboard in their skins. As it is, there will be no room to spare. And in future, Hermes, mind you admit no one till he has cleared himself of encumbrances, as I say. Stand by the gangway, and keep an eye on them, and make them strip before you let them pass. _Her_. Very good. Well, Number One, who are you? _Men_. Menippus. Here are my wallet and staff; overboard with them. I had the sense not to bring my cloak. _Her_. Pass on, Menippus; you're a good fellow; you shall have the seat of honour, up by the pilot, where you can see every one.—Here is a handsome person; who is he? _Char_. Charmoleos of Megara; the irresistible, whose kiss was worth a thousand pounds.