to thee. Doctor, cry’d I, if you will come to me a week hence, something may be done; for I intend to build me a stage in one of the largest _Piazzas_ of this city, take me a fine house, and set up my old trade of fortune-telling; and as I shall have occasion now and then for some understrapper to draw teeth for me, or to be my toad-eater upon the stage, if you will accept of so mean an employment, besides my old cloaths, which will be something, I’ll give you meat, drink, washing, and lodging, and four marks _per annum_. I am sensible, gentlemen, that I have tried your patience with a long tedious letter, but not knowing when I should find so convenient an opportunity to send another, I resolved to give you a full account in this, of all the memorable things that fell within the compass of my observation, during my short residence in this country. At present, thanks to my kind stars, I live very comfortably; I keep my brace of geldings, and half a dozen servants; my house is as well furnish’d as most in this populous city; and to tell you what prodigious number of persons of all ages, sexes and conditions flock daily to me, to have their fortunes told, ’twould hardly find belief with you. If the celestial phenomena’s deceive me not, and there is any truth in the conjunction of _Mercury_ and _Luna_, I shall in a short time rout all the pretenders to _Astrology_, who combine to ruin my reputation and practice, but without effect; for this opposition has rather increased my friends at court than lessen’d them. I am promised to be _maître des langues_, to the young prince of Acheron, (so we call the heir apparent to these subterranean dominions) and _Proserpine’s camariera major_ assured me t’other morning, I should have the honour of teaching the beautiful princess _Fuscamarilla_, his sister, to dance. Once more, gentlemen, I beg your excuse for this prolix epistle, and hoping you will order one of your fraternity to send me the news of your upper world, I remain, _Your most obliged, and most obedient Servant_, JO. HAINES. Dec. 21. 1701. _An Answer to Mr._ JOSEPH HAINES, High-German _Astrologer, at the sign of the_ Urinal _and_ Cassiopea’s Chair, _in_ Brandinopolis, _upon_ Phlegethon. _By Mr._ BROWN. _Worthy Sir_, We received your letter, dated _Dec. 21. 1701._ and read it yesterday in a full assembly at _Will_’s. The whole company lik’d it exceedingly, and return you their thanks for the ample and satisfactory account you have given them of _Pluto_’s dominions, from which we have had little or no news, however it has happened, since the famous _Don Quevedo_ had the curiosity to travel thither. Whereas you desire us, by way of exchange, to furnish you with some of the most memorable transactions that have lately fallen out in this part of the globe; we willingly comply with your proposal, and are proud of any opportunity to shew Mr. _Haines_ how much we respect and value him.