The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 09Stevenson, Robert Louis
General
The Works of Robert Louis Stevenson - Swanston Edition, Vol. 09
Stevenson, Robert Louis
English literature -- 19th century
commanded a view over dwindling suburbs to a country horizon. At last my
student drew up his blind, and still in quite a jocund humour, looked
abroad. Day was breaking, the east was tinging with strange fires, the
clouds breaking up for the coming of the sun; and at the sight, nameless
terror seized upon his mind. He was sane, his senses were undisturbed;
he saw clearly, and knew what he was seeing, and knew that it was
normal; but he could neither bear to see it nor find the strength to
look away, and fled in panic from his chamber into the enclosure of the
street. In the cool air and silence, and among the sleeping houses, his
strength was renewed. Nothing troubled him but the memory of what had
passed, and an abject fear of its return.
"Gallo canente, spes redit,
Aegris salus refunditur,
Lapsis fides revertitur,"
as they sang of old in Portugal in the Morning Office. But to him that
good hour of cockcrow, and the changes of the dawn, had brought panic,
and lasting doubt, and such terror as he still shook to think of. He
dared not return to his lodging; he could not eat; he sat down, he rose
up, he wandered; the city woke about him with its cheerful bustle, the
sun climbed overhead; and still he grew but the more absorbed in the
distress of his recollection and the fear of his past fear. At the
appointed hour he came to the door of the place of examination; but when
he was asked, he had forgotten his name. Seeing him so disordered, they
had not the heart to send him away, but gave him a paper and admitted
him, still nameless, to the Hall. Vain kindness, vain efforts. He could
only sit in a still growing horror, writing nothing, ignorant of all,
his mind filled with a single memory of the breaking day and his own
intolerable fear. And that same night he was tossing in a brain fever.
People are afraid of war and wounds and dentists, all with excellent
reason; but these are not to be compared with such chaotic terrors of
the mind as fell on this young man. We all have by our bedsides the box
of the Merchant Abudah, thank God, securely enough shut; but when a
young man sacrifices sleep to labour, let him have a care, for he is
playing with the lock.
FOOTNOTES:
[3] For the "Book" of the Edinburgh University Union Fancy Fair, 1886.
[4] Professor Tait's laboratory assistant.
[5] Charles Edward Appleton, D.C.L., Fellow of St. John's College,
Oxford, founder and first editor of the _Academy_: born 1841, died
1879.
III
OLD MORTALITY
I
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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