Ἀλλ᾽ οἱ νῦν τοῦ Διογένους ζηλωταὶ τὸ ῥᾷστον καὶ κουφότατον ἑλόμενοι τὸ κρεῖττον οὐκ εἶδον· σύ τε ἐκείνων [D] εἶναι σεμνότερος ἐθέλων ἀπεπλανήθης τοσοῦτον τῆς Διογένους προαιρέσεως, ὥστε αὐτὸν ἐλεεινὸν ἐνόμισας. εἰ δὲ τούτοις μὲν ἠπίστεις ὑπὲρ ἀνδρὸς λεγομένοις, ὃν οἱ πάντες Ἕλληνες τότε ἐθαύμασαν μετὰ Σωκράτη καὶ Πυθαγόραν ἐπὶ Πλάτωνος καὶ Ἀριστοτέλους, οὗ γέγονεν ἀκροατῆς ὁ τοῦ σωφρονεστάτου καὶ συνετωτάτου Ζήνωνος καθηγεμών, οὓς οὐκ εἰκὸς ἦν ἅπαντας ἀπατηθῆναι περὶ ἀνδρὸς οὕτω φαύλου, ὁποῖον σὺ διακωμῳδεῖς, [203] ὦ βέλτιστε, ἴσως ἄν τι πλέον ἐσκόπησας περὶ αὐτοῦ καὶ πορρωτέρω προῆλθες τῆς ἐμπειρίας τἀνδρός. τίνα γὰρ οὐκ ἐξέπληξε τῶν Ἑλλήνων ἡ Διογένους καρτερία, βασιλικῆς οὐκ ἔξω μεγαλοψυχίας οὖσα, καὶ φιλοπονία; ἐκάθευδεν ἁνὴρ ἐπὶ στιβάδος ἐν τῷ πίθῳ βέλτιον ἢ μέγας βασιλεὺς ὑπὸ τοῖς ἐπιχρύσοις ὀρόφοις ἐν τῇ μαλθακῇ κλίνῃ, ἤσθιε τὴν μᾶζαν ἥδιον ἢ σὺ νῦν τὰς Σικελικὰς [B] ἐσθίεις τραπέζας, ἐλούετο ψυχρῇ(105) τὸ σῶμα πρὸς ἀέρα ξηραίνων ἀντὶ τῶν ὀθονίων, οἷς σὺ ἀπομάττῃ, φιλοσοφώτατε. πάνυ σοι προσήκει κωμῳδεῖν ἐκεῖνον, ὅτι κατειργάσω τὸν Ξέρξην, ὡς ὁ Θεμιστοκλῆς, ἢ τὸν Δαρεῖον, ὡς ὁ Μακεδὼν Ἀλέξανδρος. εἰ σμικρὰ τὰς βίβλους ἀνελίττων ἐμελέτας ὥσπερ ἡμεῖς οἱ πολιτικοὶ καὶ πολυπράγμονες, ἔγνως ἄν, ὅπως Ἀλέξανδρος ἀγασθῆναι λέγεται τὴν Διογένους μεγαλοψυχίαν. ἀλλ᾽ οὐκ ἔστι σοι τούτων οὐδέν, ὡς ἐμοὶ δοκεῖ, σπουδαῖον· πόθεν; πολλοῦ γε καὶ δεῖ· γυναικῶν ἀθλίων τεθαύμακας φιλονεικῶν(106) βίον. (In our own day, however, the imitators of Diogenes have chosen only what is easiest and least burdensome and have failed to see his nobler side. And as for you, in your desire to be more dignified than those early Cynics you have strayed so far from Diogenes’ plan of life that you thought him an object of pity. But if you did not believe all this that I say about a man whom all the Greeks in the generation of Plato and Aristotle admired next to Socrates and Pythagoras, a man whose pupil was the teacher of the most modest and most wise Zeno,—and it is not likely that they were all deceived about a man as contemptible as you make him out to be in your travesty,—well, in that case, my dear sir, perhaps you might have studied his character more carefully and you would have progressed further in your knowledge of the man. Was there, I ask, a single Greek who was not amazed by the endurance of Diogenes and by his perseverance, which had in it a truly royal greatness of soul? The man used to sleep in his jar on a bed of leaves more soundly than the Great King on his soft couch under a gilded roof; he used to eat his crust(107) with a better appetite than you now eat your Sicilian courses(108); he used to bathe his body in cold water and dry himself in the open air instead of with the linen towels with which you rub yourself down, my most philosophic friend! It becomes you well to ridicule him because, I suppose, like Themistocles you conquered Xerxes, or Darius like Alexander of Macedon. But if you had the least habit of reading books as I do,