1. The _strictness_ of the divine _law_. For I found it was impossible for me (after my utmost pains) to answer the demands of it. I often made resolutions, and as often broke them. I imputed the whole to want of being more watchful, and used to call myself a fool for my negligence. But when, upon a stronger resolution, and greater endeavours, fasting and prayer, I found all attempts fail, then I quarrelled with the law of God, as unreasonably rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my outward actions, I could bear with it; but I found it condemned me for the sins of my heart, which I could not possibly prevent. I was extremely loath to give out, and own my utter helplessness; but after repeated disappointments, thought that, rather than perish, I could do a little more still, especially if such and such circumstances might but attend my endeavours; I hoped, that I should strive more earnestly than ever: and this hope of future more favourable circumstances, and of doing something hereafter, kept me from utter despair of myself, and from seeing myself fallen into the hands of God, and dependent on nothing but boundless grace. *2. Another thing was, that _faith alone_ was the _condition of salvation_; and that God would not come down to lower terms; that he would not promise life and salvation upon my sincere prayers and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi. 16. “He that believeth not, shall be damned,” cut off all hope there; and I found, faith was the gift of God; that I could not get it of myself, and could not oblige God to bestow it upon me, by any of my performances. “This,” I was ready to say, “is a hard saying, who can bear it?” I could not bear, that all I had done should stand for a mere nothing, who had been very conscientious in duty, and had been exceeding religious a great while, and had (as I thought) done much more than many others that had obtained mercy. I confessed indeed the vileness of my duties; but then, what made them at that time seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them; not because I was all over defiled, and the principle corrupt from whence they flowed, so that I could not possibly do any thing that was good. And therefore I called what I did, by the name of faithful endeavours; and could not bear it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them.