*3. Another thing was, that I could not find out how to come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ, made to the _weary_ and _heavy laden_; but could find no way that he directed them to come in. I thought I would gladly come, if I knew _how_, though the path of duty directed to what was never so difficult. Mr. Stoddard’s _Guide_ to _Christ_ did not tell me any thing I could do, that would bring me to Christ, but left me as it were with a great gulph between me and Christ, without any direction to get through. For I was not yet experimentally taught, that there could be no way prescribed, whereby a natural man could of his own strength, obtain that which is supernatural, and which the highest angel cannot give. *All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with me; and I was inwardly pressed to relinquish all _self-confidence_, all hopes of ever helping myself by any means whatsoever; and the conviction of my _lost_ estate was sometimes so clear, that it was as if it had been declared to me in so many words, “It is done, it is for ever impossible to deliver yourself.” For about three or four days, my soul was thus distressed, especially at some turns, when for a few moments I seemed to myself lost and undone: but then would shrink back immediately from the sight, because I dared not venture myself into the hands of God, as wholly helpless. I dared not see that important truth, that I was _dead in trespasses and sins_. But when I had thrust away these views of myself at any time, I was distressed to have the same discoveries again: for I greatly feared being given over of God to final stupidity. When I thought of putting it off to a _more convenient season_, the conviction was so powerful with regard to the present time, that it was the best time, and probably the only time, that I dared not to put it off. Yet my soul shrank away from it; I could see no safety in throwing myself into the hands of God, and that I could lay no claim to any thing better than damnation.