Thursday, December 13. I spent the day in fasting and prayer, to implore the divine blessing, more especially on my poor people; in particular for my interpreter, and three or four more under some concern for their souls: but in the evening it seemed as if I had need to pray for nothing so much as for the pardon of sins committed in the day past. The sins I had most sense of, were pride, and wandering thoughts. Lord’s-day, December 16. I was so overwhelmed with dejection, that I knew not how to live: I longed for death exceedingly: my soul was _sunk into deep waters_, and _the floods_ were ready to _drown me_: I was so much oppressed, that my soul was in a kind of horror: I had no distressing doubt about my own state; but would have chearfully ventured into eternity. While I was going to preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish; I despaired of doing any good. But at last I insisted on the evidence of Christianity from the _miracles_ of Christ: and God helped me to make a close application to those that refused to believe. I was encouraged to find, that God enabled me to be faithful once more. Then I went and preached to another company of them; but was very weary and faint. In the evening I was something refreshed, and enabled to pray and praise God with composure and affection: I was now willing to live, and longed to do more for God than my weak state of body would admit of. “I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me;” and I am willing to _spend_ and _be spent_ in his service. Tuesday, December 18. I went to the Indians, and discoursed to them near an hour, and at last God helped me to speak with warmth. My interpreter also was amazingly assisted; and I doubt not but “the Spirit of God was upon him.” And presently most of the grown persons were much affected, and the tears ran down their cheeks: and one old man (I suppose an hundred years old) was so affected, that he wept, and seemed convinced of the importance of what I taught them. I staid with them a considerable time, exhorting them; and came away, lifting up my heart to God, and encouraged my interpreter to “strive to enter in at the strait gate.” Thursday, January 5, 1744‒5. Being sensible of the great want of the out-pouring of God’s Spirit, I spent this day in fasting and prayer, to seek so great a mercy for myself, and my poor people in particular, and for the church of God in general. Saturday, January 5. I was much disordered in my head. I was distressed with a sense of my spiritual pollution, and ten thousand youthful, yea, and childish follies: all which appeared now fresh, and in a lively view, as if committed yesterday.