The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
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The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 01 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
Papers are the extreme reverse of Lady L.’s celebrated Autographs,
which were all written by the proprietor.
No. I.--_From Master_ RICHARD PUGSLEY, _to Master_ ROBERT
ROGERS, _at Number 132, Barbican_.
DEAR BOB,
Huzza!--Here I am in Lincolnshire! It’s good-bye to Wellingtons and
Cossacks, Ladies’ double channels, Gentlemen’s stout calf, and ditto
ditto. They’ve all been sold off under prime cost, and the old Shoe
Mart is disposed of, goodwill and fixtures for ever and ever. Father
has been made a rich Squire of by will, and we’ve got a house and
fields, and trees of our own. Such a garden, Bob!--It beats White
Conduit.
Now, Bob, I’ll tell you what I want. I want you to come down here for
the holidays. Don’t be afraid. Ask your Sister to ask your Mother to
ask your Father to let you come. It’s only ninety mile. If you’re out
of pocket money, you can walk, and beg a lift now and then, or swing
by the dickies. Put on cordroys, and don’t care for cut behind. The
two prentices, George and Will, are here to be made farmers of, and
brother Nick is took home from school to help in agriculture. We like
farming very much, it’s capital fun. Us four have got a gun, and go
out shooting: it’s a famous good un, and sure to go off if you don’t
full cock it. Tiger is to be our shooting dog, as soon as he has left
off killing the sheep. He’s a real savage, and worries cats beautiful.
Before Father comes down, we mean to bait our bull with him.
There’s plenty of New Rivers about, and we’re going a fishing as soon
as we have mended our top joint. We’ve killed one of our sheep on the
sly to get gentles. We’ve a pony, too, to ride upon when we can catch
him, but he’s loose in the paddock, and has neither mane nor tail to
signify to lay hold of. Isn’t it prime, Bob? You must come. If your
Mother won’t give your Father leave to allow you,--run away. Remember,
you turn up Goswell Street to go to Lincolnshire, and ask for Middlefen
Hall. There’s a pond full of frogs, but we won’t pelt them till you
come, but let it be before Sunday, as there’s our own orchard to rob,
and the fruit’s to be gathered on Monday.
If you like sucking raw eggs, we know where the hens lay, and mother
don’t; and I’m bound there’s lots of birds’ nests. Do come, Bob,
and I’ll show you the wasps’ nest, and everything that can make you
comfortable. I dare say you could borrow your father’s volunteer
musket of him without his knowing of it; but be sure anyhow to bring
the ramrod, as we have mislaid ours by firing it off. Don’t forget
some bird-lime, Bob--and some fish-hooks--and some different sorts
of shot--and some gut and some gunpowder and a gentle box, and some
flints,--some May flies, and a powder horn,--and a landing net and
a dog-whistle--and some porcupine quills, and a bullet mould--and a
trolling-winch, and a shot-belt and a tin can. You pay for ’em, Bob,
and I’ll owe it you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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