The World's Illusion, Volume 1 (of 2): EvaWassermann, Jakob
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The World's Illusion, Volume 1 (of 2): Eva
Wassermann, Jakob
German fiction -- Translations into English
Christian had listened to this lengthy though wise and pregnant
discourse with great patience. At times there was a glint of mockery or
anger in his eyes. Then again he would lower them and seem embarrassed.
Sometimes he grasped the sense of Crammon’s words, sometimes he thought
of other things. It cost him an effort to recall clearly by what right
this apparently complete stranger interfered in his life and sought
to influence his decisions. And then again he felt within himself a
certain tenderness for Crammon in the memory of common experiences and
intimate talks; but all that seemed so far away and so estranged from
the present.
He looked out of the window, from which the view was free to the
horizon where sea and sky touched. Far in the distance a little white
cloud floated like a white, round pillow. The same tenderness that he
felt for Crammon, he now felt for that little cloud.
And as Crammon sat before him and waited for an answer, there suddenly
came into his mind the story of the ring which Amadeus had told him.
He began: “A young candidate for Holy Orders, who was tutor to the
children of a banker, fell under the suspicion of having stolen a
costly ring. He told me the story himself, and from his words I knew
that the ring, when he saw it on the hand of his employer’s wife,
aroused his desire. In addition he loved this woman, and would have
been happy to have had something by which to remember her. But he
was utterly innocent of the disappearance of the ring, and some
time after he had left that house, his innocence received the most
striking confirmation. For the lady sent him the ring as a gift. He
was wretchedly poor, and the ring would have meant much to him; but he
went and threw it into a well, a deep old-fashioned well. The costliest
thing he had ever possessed in life, he threw without hesitation or
reflection into a well--that’s what this man did.”
“Oh, well, very well. Although ... no, I don’t quite see your meaning,”
said Crammon, discontentedly, and shifted his pipe from the right to
the left corner of his mouth. “What good did the ring do the poor fool?
How absurd to take something that reaches you in a manner so delicate
and discreet, and throw it into a well? Would not a box have served,
or a drawer? There at least it could have been found. It was a loutish
trick.”
Crammon’s way of sitting there with his legs crossed, showing his grey
silk socks, had something about it so secure and satiated, that it
reminded one of an animal that basks in the sun and digests its food.
Christian’s disgust at his words quieted, and was replaced by a gentle,
almost compassionate tenderness. He said: “It is so hard to renounce.
You can talk about it and imagine it; you can will it and even believe
yourself capable of it. But when the moment of renunciation comes,
it is hard, it is almost impossible to give up even the humblest of
things.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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