The Worst Joke in the WorldHolding, Elisabeth Sanxay
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The Worst Joke in the World
Holding, Elisabeth Sanxay
Families -- Fiction; Mothers-in-law -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
“I’ve been waiting for an hour,” he answered. “You said ‘about dinner
time,’ and I certainly wasn’t going to let you come from the station
alone. This way—there’s a taxi waiting.”
Mrs. Champney was ashamed of herself. Robert was the dearest boy, so
stalwart, so trustworthy, so handsome in his dark and somber fashion,
and so touchingly devoted to her! After all, wasn’t it far better to
be a little too heavy than too light and insubstantial? As he got into
the cab beside her, she slipped her arm through his and squeezed it.
“You dear boy, to wait like that!” she said.
“Mother!” he said again. “By Heaven, I could wring that fellow’s neck!
Speculating with your money—”
“Don’t take it like that, Robert. It’s all over and done with now.”
“No, it’s not!” said he. “It’s—the thing is, you’ve been used to all
sorts of little—little comforts and so on; and just at the present
time I’m not able to give you—”
“Please don’t, Robert!” she cried. “It hurts me!”
He put his arm about her shoulders.
“You’re not going to be hurt,” he said grimly; “not by _anyone_,
mother!”
His tone and his words filled her with dismay.
“Robert,” she said firmly, “I will not be made a martyr of!”
“A victim, then,” Robert insisted doggedly. “You’ve been tricked and
swindled by that contemptible fellow; but Frank and I are going to see
that it’s made right!”
“Oh, Robert! You’re not going to do anything to that poor, miserable,
distracted man?”
“Nothing we can do. You gave the fellow a free hand, and he took
advantage of it. No, I mean that Frank and I are going to make it up
to you, mother.”
He might as well have added “at any cost.” Mrs. Champney winced in
spirit, but at the same time she loved him for his blundering
tenderness, his uncomprehending loyalty. He meant only to reassure
her, but he made it all so hard, so terribly hard! She felt tears well
up in her eyes. How could she go through with this gallantly if he
made it so hard?
Then, suddenly, there came to her mind the memory of a winter
afternoon, long, long ago, when Frank and Robert had been going out to
skate. She had heard alarming reports about the ice, and she had run
after them, bareheaded, into the garden. She could see that dear
garden, bare and brown in the wintry sunshine; she could see her two
boys, stopping and turning toward her as she called.
Frank had laughingly assured her that there was no danger at all. That
was Frank’s way. She didn’t believe him, yet his sublime confidence in
himself and his inevitable good luck somehow comforted her; and then
Robert had said:
“Well, look here, mother—we’ll promise not to go near the middle of
the pond at the same time. Then, whatever happens, you’ll have one of
us left anyhow—see?”
And that was Robert’s way. The very thought of it stopped the dreaded
invasion of tears and made her smile to herself in the dark. Such a
splendidly honest way—and so devastating!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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