The Wreck of the Grosvenor, Volume 2 of 3: An account of the mutiny of the crew and the loss of the ship when trying to make the BermudasRussell, William Clark
General
The Wreck of the Grosvenor, Volume 2 of 3: An account of the mutiny of the crew and the loss of the ship when trying to make the Bermudas
But all the same, I was not to be deceived by their apparent
tractableness and quiet exterior. I knew but too well the malignant
purpose that underlay this reposeful conduct, and never addressed
them but felt that I was accosting murderers, who, when the moment
should arrive, would watch their victims miserably drown, with horrid
satisfaction at the success of their cruel remedy to remove all chance
of their apprehension.
On this Sunday, old Mr. Robertson came on deck for the first time,
accompanied by his daughter, who had not before been on the poop in the
daytime.
It was my watch on deck; had it been the carpenter's, I should have
advised them to keep below.
What I had feared had now come to pass. Mr. Robertson's memory was
gone. He could recall nothing; but what was more pitiful to see,
though it was all for the best so far as he was concerned, he made no
effort to recollect. Nothing was suggestive; nothing, that ever I could
detect, put his mind in labour. His daughter spoke to me about this
melancholy extinction of his memory, but not with any bitterness of
sorrow.
"It is better," she said, "that he should not remember the horrors of
that shipwreck, nor understand our present dreadful position."
It was indeed the sense of our position that took her mind away from
too active a contemplation of her father's intellectual enfeeblement.
There was never a more devoted daughter, more tender, gentle,
unremitting in her foresight of his wants; and yet, in spite of
herself, the feeling of her helplessness would at times overpower her;
that strong and beautiful instinct in women which makes them turn for
safety and comfort to the strength of men whom they can trust, would
master her. I knew, I felt through signs touching to me as love, how
she looked to me out of her loneliness, out of the deeper loneliness
created in her by her father's decay, and wondered that I, a rough
sailor, little capable of expressing all the tenderness and concern
and strong resolutions that filled my heart, should have the power to
inspirit and pacify her most restless moods. In view of the death that
might await us--for hope and strive as we might, we could pronounce
nothing certain--it was exquisite flattery to me, breeding in me,
indeed, thoughts which I hardly noted then, though they were there to
make an epoch in my life, to feel her trust, to witness the comfort my
presence gave her, to receive her gentle whispers that she had no fear
now; that I was her friend; that she knew me as though our friendship
was of old, old standing!
I say, God bless her for her faith in me! I look back and know that I
did my best. She gave me courage, heart, and cunning; and so I owed my
life to her, for it was these things that saved it.
She exactly knew the plans concerted by the boatswain and myself, and
was eager to help us; but I could find no part for her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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