The parson wishes to do great things for all the benevolent operations of the day, but what do Droneville people know about benevolent operations? Instruct them? “Droneville people ar’nt to be instructed; they know a thing or two.” Besides, Droneville people are half inclined to think that “charity begins at home.” Turn them? You may turn a mule, when he has once “placed his foot down,” with a mule’s determination, but there is no turning _them_. They are as obstinate and headstrong as doctors of theology; coaxing and cuffs are equally unavailing. There is nothing which Droneville people resist so much as innovation. An attempt to change old customs, or to drive them from the well trodden path of their ancestors, will raise such a cackling among long-winded gossippers and slippery tongued spinsters, as would drive Beelzebub himself from the roost. Mr. Long Metre--a member of that fraternity who wander about teaching one half of the people how they can best _squeal off_ the ears of the other half--attempted to reform Droneville choir. This Radical broached the theory, that it was impossible for the young ladies to sing melodiously while they wore their bonnets, since the sweet nightingales were prevented from hearing their neighbors’ voices. The singing master, having been joined by a few of the young bucks--bold fellows these--venturing sometimes to give the ‘gals’ a sneaking glance or a sly wink, made a movement to carry the reform into operation. What pen can describe the “comper” which this excited! It was too much for the equanimity of the gentlemen of the old school. It was like touching a torch to their beards. Oh Droneville! who would have thought, that the flames of party animosity could ever have been kindled in thy peaceful streets? yet such was the fact. Every man, woman, and child, was ranged under the banner of the bonnets, or the anti-bonnets. The bonnets claimed, “that the measure of their opponents was an unheard-of innovation, exposing the health of the ‘little dears,’ encouraging extravagance in dress, endangering the morals of the young men, in short, that it was wholly unrighteous, unscriptural and indelicate, for St. Paul expressly declares that ‘every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered, dishonoreth her head.’” I noticed that this doctrine was warmly espoused by all the red haired young ladies, and desperate spinsters. The anti-bonnets, headed by the singing master, supported by the aforementioned bucks, and all the most buxom of the village girls, unable to withstand the cogent arguments of their adversaries, dispatched a delegation to secure upon their side, the influence of the parson. The good man stood aghast! What could he do? To commit himself upon either side, would be his ruin: to stand neutral, was impossible. Mr. Soporific Heth--the village tailor--a most vigorous performer upon a cracked clarionet, was chosen ambassador. Mr. Heth was a lean, long