The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894 — John Shaqi
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
I sat down near him and waited, trying to create some kind of order
out of the chaos in my mind, and half automatically watching and
considering him as he played his dance--Edmund Pair playing a dance
for prostitutes and drunken sailors. He was not greatly changed. There
were the same grey eyes, deep-set and wide apart, under the same broad
forehead; the same fine nose and chin, the same sensitive mouth. The
whole face was pretty much the same, only thinner perhaps, and with a
look of apathy, of inanimation, that was foreign to my recollection
of it. His hair had turned quite white, but otherwise he appeared no
older than his years. His figure, tall, slender, well-knit, retained
its vigour and its distinction. Though he wore a shabby brown Norfolk
jacket, and his beard was two days old, you could in no circumstances
have taken him for anything but a gentleman. I waited anxiously for the
time when we should be alone--anxiously, yet with a sort of terror.
I was burning to understand, and yet I shrunk from doing so. If to
conjecture even vaguely what experiences could have brought him to
this, what dark things suffered or done, had been melancholy when he
was a nameless old musician, now it was appalling, and I dreaded the
explanation that I longed to hear.
At last he struck his final chord, and rose from the piano. Then he
turned to me and said, composedly enough, “Well, I’m ready.” He,
apparently, had in some measure pulled himself together. In the street
he took my arm. “Let’s walk in this direction,” he said, leading off,
“towards the Christian quarter of the town.” And in a moment he went
on: “This has been an odd meeting. What brings you to Bordeaux?”
I explained that I was on my way to Biarritz, stopping for the night
between two trains.
“Then it’s all the more surprising that you should have stumbled into
the Brasserie des Quatre Vents. You’ve altered very slightly. The
world wags well with you? You look prosperous.”
I cried out some incoherent protest. Afterwards I said, “You know what
I want to hear. What does this mean?”
He laughed nervously. “Oh, the meaning’s clear enough. It speaks for
itself.”
“I don’t understand,” said I.
“I’m pianist to the Brasserie des Quatre Vents. You saw me in the
discharge of my duties.”
“I don’t understand,” I repeated helplessly.
“And yet the inference is plain. What could have brought a man to such
a pass save drink or evil courses?”
“Oh, don’t trifle,” I implored him.
“I’m not trifling. That’s the worst of it. For I don’t drink, and I’m
not conscious of having pursued any especially evil courses.”
“Well?” I questioned. “Well?”
“The fact of the matter simply is that I’m what they call a failure. I
never came off.”
“I don’t understand,” I repeated for a third time.
“No more do I, if you come to that. It’s the will of Heaven, I suppose.
Anyhow, it can’t puzzle you more than it puzzles me. It seems contrary
to the whole logic of circumstances, but it’s the fact.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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