“There may be fancy ways,” I answered, “necessary to you if later on you
think of entering a competition. This morning, seeing we are late, I
shouldn’t worry too much about style. If I were you, this morning I
should adopt the ordinary unimaginative method, and aim only at results.”
Robina sat down and placed her bucket underneath the cow.
“I suppose,” said Robina, “it doesn’t matter which—which one I begin
with?”
It was perfectly plain she hadn’t the least notion how to milk a cow. I
told her so, adding comments. Now and then a little fatherly talk does
good. As a rule I have to work myself up for these occasions. This
morning I was feeling fairly fit: things had conspired to this end. I
put before Robina the aims and privileges of the household fairy as they
appeared, not to her, but to me. I also confided to Veronica the result
of many weeks’ reflections concerning her and her behaviour. I also told
them both what I thought about Dick. I do this sort of thing once every
six months: it has an excellent effect for about three days.
Robina wiped away her tears, and seized the first one that came to her
hand. The cow, without saying a word, kicked over the empty bucket, and
walked away, disgust expressed in every hair of her body. Robina, crying
quietly, followed her. By patting her on her neck, and letting her wipe
her nose upon my coat—which seemed to comfort her—I persuaded her to keep
still while Robina worked for ten minutes at high pressure. The result
was about a glassful and a half, the cow’s capacity, to all appearance,
being by this time some five or six gallons.
Robina broke down, and acknowledged she had been a wicked girl. If the
cow died, so she said, she should never forgive herself. Veronica at
this burst into tears also; and the cow, whether moved afresh by her own
troubles or by theirs, commenced again to bellow. I was fortunately able
to find an elderly labourer smoking a pipe and eating bacon underneath a
tree; and with him I bargained that for a shilling a day he should milk
the cow till further notice.
We left him busy, and returned to the cottage. Dick met us at the door
with a cheery “Good morning.” He wanted to know if we had heard the
storm. He also wanted to know when breakfast would be ready. Robina
thought that happy event would be shortly after he had boiled the kettle
and made the tea and fried the bacon, while Veronica was laying the
table.
“But I thought—”
Robina said that if he dared to mention the word “household-fairy” she
would box his ears, and go straight up to bed, and leave everybody to do
everything. She said she meant it.
Dick has one virtue: it is philosophy. “Come on, young ’un,” said Dick
to Veronica. “Trouble is good for us all.”
“Some of us,” said Veronica, “it makes bitter.”
We sat down to breakfast at eight-thirty.
CHAPTER IV
OUR architect arrived on Friday afternoon, or rather, his assistant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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