They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second Coming — John Shaqi
They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second ComingSinclair, Upton
General
They Call Me Carpenter: A Tale of the Second Coming
Sinclair, Upton
Hollywood (Los Angeles, Calif.) -- Fiction; Jesus Christ -- Fiction
From the dome there was given heat; so from the pores of the
flesh-mountain came perspiration. I could not say that I actually
saw perspiration flowing from any particular pore; it is my
understanding that pores are small, and do not squirt visible jets.
What I could say is that I saw little trickles uniting to form
brooks, and brooks to form rivers, which ran down the sides of the
flesh-mountain, and mingled in an ocean on the floor.
Also I observed that flesh-mountains when exposed to heat do not
stand up of their own consistency, but have a tendency to melt and
flatten; it was necessary that this bulk should be supported, so
there were three attendants, one securely braced under each armpit,
and the third with a more precarious grip under the mountain's chin.
Every thirty seconds or so the heaving, sliding mass would emit one
of those explosive groans: “O-o-o-o-o-oh!” Then it would collapse,
an avalanche would threaten to slide, and the living caryatids would
shove and struggle.
Said Madame Planchet, in her stage-whisper: “The serveece of the
young god of beautee!” And my fancy took flight. I saw proud vestals
tending sacred flames on temple-clad islands in blue Grecian seas; I
saw acolytes waving censers, and grave, bearded priests walking in
processions crowned with myrtle-wreaths. I wondered if ever since
the world began, the young god of beautee looking down from his
crystal throne had beheld a stranger ritual of adoration!
Silently we drew back from the door-way, and Madame closed the door,
reducing the promethean groans and the strong ammoniacal odors. I
did not see the face of Carpenter, because he had turned it from us.
Rosythe favored me with a smile, and whispered, “Your friend doesn't
care for beautee!” Then he added, “What do you suppose he meant by
that stuff about 'the price of life' and 'the choice of God?'”
“Didn't you really get it?” I asked.
“I'm damned if I did.”
“My dear fellow,” I said, “you didn't tell us what sort of place
this was; and Carpenter thought it must be a maternity-ward.”
The moving picture critic of the Western City “Times” gave me one
wild look; then from his throat there came a sound like the sudden
bleat of a young sheep in pain. It caused Carpenter to start, and
Madame Planchet to start, and for the first time since we entered
the place, the birds of paradise gave signs of life elsewhere than
in the eye-muscles. The sheep gave a second bleat, and then a third,
and Rosythe, red in the face and apparently choking, turned and fled
to the corridor.
Madame Planchet drew me apart and said: “Meester Billee, tell me
something. Ees eet true that thees gentleman ees a healer? He takes
away the pains?”
“He did it for me,” I answered.
“He ees vairy handsome, eh, Meester Billee?”
“Yes, that is true.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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