XXIV. FROM GAY TO GRAVE 283 XXV. JOTTINGS 298 XXVI. MORE JOTTINGS: AND HYDE PARK 310 XXVII. BURIED IN PARCELS 319 XXVIII. WORK RELAXED: AND ORCHARDSON 333 XXIX. DIAZ—FAREWELL 349 EPILOGUE 356 INDEX 359 ILLUSTRATIONS WRITING. HOPPÉ _Frontispiece_ TO FACE PAGE ORIGINAL LETTER FROM BISMARCK 16 HANS BREITMANN’S BALLAD 31 AUTHOR’S HAND 33 GRAPES GROWING ON A LONDON BALCONY 42 BORKUM OF SPY FAME. (SKETCH BY AUTHOR) 47 WHEN FIRST A WIDOW 65 MRS. ALEC TWEEDIE’S WRITING-TABLE 94 THE WRITER IN DIVIDED RIDING-SKIRT IN SOUTHERN MEXICO 123 THE AUTHOR, BY HERBERT SCHMALZ 145 HALF-HOUR SKETCH OF AUTHOR, BY JOHN LAVERY 156 WATER-COLOUR SKETCH, BY PERCY ANDERSON 161 WALTER CRANE’S MOST FAMOUS BOOK-PLATE 175 CHARACTERISTIC POSTCARD, BY BERNARD SHAW _Page_ 262 CHRISTMAS CARD, BY HARRY FURNISS „ 303 CHRISTMAS CARD, DESIGNED BY JOHN HASSALL „ 316 BURIED IN PARCELS, BY HARRY FURNISS (TO FACE) „ 320 SKETCH BY “SPY” „ „ 356 THIRTEEN YEARS OF A BUSY WOMAN’S LIFE THIRTEEN YEARS OF A BUSY WOMAN’S LIFE PROLOGUE One day in the ’nineties I was quietly sitting in my library, when the door opened and a gentleman was announced. Standing solemnly before me, he said: “I have come to thank you for my life.” I looked at him. Was the man sane? Was he suffering from hallucinations, or what on earth did he mean? “Yes,” he repeated solemnly, “I have come to thank you for my life.” “I am afraid I am at a loss to understand,” I replied, “perhaps you can explain.” “Existence became utterly unendurable,” he continued, “worries heaped upon one another until the strain was unbearable, and then, to crown all, a terrible disease took possession of me. I knew I could not live. It might be a matter drawn out in all its hideousness for two or three years, but—the germ was there.” “We shall none of us live for ever,” I replied cheerily. “Death is inevitable.” “Oh yes,” he nodded, “death is inevitable; but we do not all have to face it in this way. So unendurable was the strain that I determined to end the matter in my own fashion, and a day or two ago I finally decided to take my life.”