This FreedomHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
General
This Freedom
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- Social and moral questions -- Fiction
“Ran to her mother to cry.” That’s a thing not to pass over without a
stop. Lucky, lucky Rosalie to have one to whom to take her grief! You
can imagine her small heart’s twistings by those days of sorrow, of
terrifying and mysterious and dreadful things that the child never could
clearly have understood; of grief, of mourning; of atmosphere most
eerie made of whispers, of tiptoe treading, of shrouded windows, of
conversations, as of conspirators, shut off with “Not in front of
Rosalie.” “Hush, not now. Here’s Rosalie.”
Yes, twisting stuff that; but in that “ran to her mother to cry”
something that much more dreadfully twists the heart than those. Those
were for Rosalie--they are for all--but frets upon the sands of time
that each most kind expunging day, flowing from dawn to sunset like a
tide, heals and obliterates. There are no common griefs, and death’s a
common grief, that can be drawn above that tide’s highwater mark. But
there’s that sentence: “Rosalie ran to her mother to cry.” That’s of the
aching voids of life, deep-seated like a cancer, that no tide reaches.
That twists the heart to hear it because--O happy Rosalie!--the aching
thing in life is not having where you can take your weariness. Your
successes, your triumphs, there are a hundred eyes to shine with yours
in those. Oh, it is the defeats you want where to tell--some one you can
take the defeats to, the failures, the lost things; the lamps that are
gone out, the hopes that are ashes, the springs that spring no more,
the secret sordid things that eat you up, that hedge you all about, that
draw you down. Those! To have some one to tell those to! Yes, there’s a
thought that comes with living: Let who may receive a man’s triumphs; to
whom a soul can take its defeats, that one has the imprint of Godhood.
They walk near God.
Awfully frightening days followed for Rosalie. There wasn’t a room that
wasn’t dark and frightening with all the blinds down, and wasn’t a voice
that wasn’t dark and frightening, all in whispers; and then came this
that closed them and that was like a finger pressed right down on
Rosalie.
There was that Rosalie in the church at the funeral service. She sat
at the inner end of the pew with Hilda beside her. The coffin had stood
before the altar all night, with the lamps lit all night, and Rosalie
believed her father had stayed with it all night. He was struck right
down by what had happened, Rosalie’s father. She had heard him, when
Anna lay on the bed, and he crouched beside her, crying out loud, “I
hated my lot! O God, I was blind to this my child that shared my lot!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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