American wit and humor; Evolution (Biology) -- Wit and humor
Goats, then? Bears or turtles? Wolves, whales, crows? Each had brains
and pride, and would have been glad to rule the world if they could;
but each had their defects, and their weaknesses for such a position.
The elephant? Ah! Evolution has had its tragedies, hasn't it, as well
as its triumphs; and well should the elephant know it. He had the best
chance of all. Wiser even than the lion, or the wisest of apes, his
wisdom furthermore was benign where theirs was sinister. Consider his
dignity, his poise and skill. He was plastic, too. He had learned to
eat many foods and endure many climates. Once, some say, this race
explored the globe. Their bones are found everywhere, in South America
even; so the elephants' Columbus may have found some road here before
ours. They are cosmopolitans, these suave and well-bred beings. They
have rich emotional natures, long memories, loyalty; they are steady
and sure; and not narrow, not self-absorbed, for they seem interested
in everything. What was it then, that put them out of the race?
Could it have been a quite natural belief that they had already won?
And when they saw that they hadn't, and that the monkey-men were
getting ahead, were they too great-minded and decent to exterminate
their puny rivals?
It may have been their tolerance and patience that betrayed them. They
wait too long before they resent an imposition or insult. Just as ants
are too energetic and cats too shrewd for their own highest good, so
the elephants suffer from too much patience. Their exhibitions of it
may seem superb,--such power and such restraint, combined, are
noble,--but a quality carried to excess defeats itself. Kings who won't
lift their scepters must yield in the end; and, the worst of it is, to
upstarts who snatch at their crowns.
* * * * *
I fancy the elephants would have been gentler masters than we: more
live-and-let-live in allowing other species to stay here. Our way is to
kill good and bad, male and female and babies, till the few last
survivors lie hidden away from our guns. All species must surrender
unconditionally--those are our terms--and come and live in barns
alongside us; or on us, as parasites. The creatures that want to live a
life of their own, we call wild. If wild, then no matter how harmless
we treat them as outlaws, and those of us who are specially well
brought up shoot them for fun. Some might be our friends. We don't wish
it. We keep them all terrorized. When one of us conquering monkey-men
enters the woods, most animals that scent him slink away, or race off
in a panic. It is not that we have planned this deliberately: but they
know what we're like. Race by race they have been slaughtered. Soon all
will be gone. We give neither freedom nor life-room to those we defeat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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