Well, you’ll have to sooner or later. EDWARD What is there to do? EVELYN Read the riot act. EDWARD Do you seriously imagine that that’s in any way a final solution? EVELYN It ought to bring her to her senses a bit, if you did it with conviction. EDWARD That’s the trouble. I haven’t got a conviction. EVELYN Hang it all man, she is your wife! EDWARD I’m not a man of property. EVELYN How do you mean? EDWARD I mean I can’t look on Carol as a sort of American trunk. EVELYN [_Exasperated_] What _are_ you talking about? EDWARD She’s a human being, not an inanimate object over which I can assert legal rights. EVELYN If all husbands adopted that tone, England would be in a nice state. EDWARD It _is_ in a nice state. EVELYN You make me tired sometimes, Edward. EDWARD I expect I do, but it can’t be helped. EVELYN Yes, it can. EDWARD How? EVELYN Pull yourself together; show a little spirit. EDWARD I suppose you think that if I grabbed Carol by the hair of the head and banged her about and hurled abuse at her, she’d fall at my feet in ecstasies of adoration? EVELYN I shouldn’t be surprised. Anyhow, it probably would do her good. EDWARD For an upstanding British soldier you have an astounding sense of the theater. EVELYN Oh, you can think me a red-blooded savage if you like, but I’m damned if I’d sit down quietly and let my wife make a fool of me. EDWARD [_Gently_] You haven’t got a wife, Evie. If you had you’d probably be utterly vanquished quicker than anyone. EVELYN Not me. I know the game too well. EDWARD Only from looking on, though. That makes an enormous difference. EVELYN Look here, Edward. Why not be sensible about all this? EDWARD I am, really. EVELYN Nonsense! EDWARD It’s no use, Evie. Things will have to take their course. EVELYN [_Contemptuously_] Line of least resistance, eh? EDWARD Yes. EVELYN To hell with the line of least resistance. EDWARD She can’t help herself; she’s made like that. EVELYN Rubbish! EDWARD It isn’t rubbish. She’s the sort of woman who must attract people all the time. One conquest isn’t enough; she must go on and on. EVELYN You talk as though she were only just flirting about for the fun of the thing. EDWARD Perhaps she is. EVELYN What’s the use of blinding yourself? EDWARD Oh, shut up, Evie! EVELYN This is more serious than you think. EDWARD No, it isn’t. EVELYN What do you feel—honestly? EDWARD I’ve told you—bored. EVELYN That’s not true. EDWARD All right. EVELYN I know it isn’t. We haven’t been pals all these years for nothing. You can’t deceive me as easily as that. EDWARD What do you want me to feel, exactly? EVELYN You’ve got to _do_ something. EDWARD What? EVELYN If you don’t, I shall. EDWARD Evie, if you mention one word of all this to Carol or anyone in the world, I’ll never forgive you. EVELYN You needn’t worry. I’ve got a better plan than talking. EDWARD What is it? EVELYN Leave it to me.