"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
You come out to a few theaters and parties with me—
EVELYN
I can’t dance well enough.
CAROL
I’ll soon teach you.
EVELYN
I’d drive you mad.
CAROL
Have you a gramophone here?
EVELYN
Yes.
CAROL
We’ll start after dinner.
EVELYN
All right.
CAROL
And whenever I’m tired and sick of everything, I’ll come here and dine
quietly like this.
EVELYN
Will you, honestly?
CAROL
Of course, if you stick to your side of the compact.
EVELYN
I don’t believe you’ll have the patience to carry it through.
CAROL
You must despise me.
EVELYN
Despise you? Good Heavens! Why?
CAROL
You’re so untrusting.
EVELYN
No, I’m not; but it does look as though I were going to get more out of
this than you.
CAROL
Not at all. It’s a perfectly fair exchange. You’ve no idea how utterly
weary I get every now and then.
EVELYN
Poor Carol.
CAROL
This is peace, absolute peace, and I’m tremendously grateful to you for
it.
[_They look at each other in silence for a moment. EVELYN’S expression
is faintly nonplused._]
EVELYN
The compact’s on.
CAROL
Good! Shake hands.
EVELYN
Right you are.
[_They shake hands across the table. CAROL allows hers to remain in
his a shade more than is strictly necessary._]
CAROL
Do you want to come to the first night of “Round Pegs” on Thursday?
EVELYN
What on earth’s that?
CAROL
A new play by Burton Trask.
EVELYN
Who’s he?
CAROL
[_Laughing_]
Oh, Evie!
EVELYN
Well, how should I know?
CAROL
He’s only the most talked of dramatist we’ve got.
EVELYN
Sorry.
CAROL
He wrote “The Sinful Spinster.”
EVELYN
Oh, the play all the fuss was about last year.
CAROL
Yes.
EVELYN
It sounded pretty hot stuff.
CAROL
It wasn’t, really, but the woman in it fell in love with a man younger
than herself and the Church of England didn’t like it.
EVELYN
Oh, I see!
CAROL
You need educating badly.
EVELYN
I’m afraid I do.
[_BLACKWELL enters and takes away their soup plates._]
CAROL
Wasn’t it funny us talking this afternoon and you asking me to dine all
in a minute?
EVELYN
Awfully funny, but very lucky for me.
CAROL
You make me feel shy when you say things like that. It was just as lucky
for me.
EVELYN
[_With intensity_]
Was it, honestly?
CAROL
[_Looking down_]
Of course.
[_BLACKWELL enters with partridges and attendant vegetables. He serves
them during the ensuing dialogue._]
EVELYN
Edward’s looking awfully tired these days.
CAROL
[_Absently_]
Is he? I haven’t noticed it.
EVELYN
Why, you said so yourself this afternoon.
CAROL
So I did. I remember he looked very wan when I came in. By the way, what
were you two discussing so intently. I felt as though I were interrupting
a Masonic meeting.
EVELYN
Nothing particular.
CAROL
Me, by any chance?
EVELYN
Good Heavens, no!
CAROL
There’s no need to be so vehement about it; it wouldn’t have mattered if
you had been.
EVELYN
Have some more champagne.
CAROL
Thanks—just a little.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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