"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
But I don’t think they do, really.
EVELYN
That’s true, but they wouldn’t dare admit it.
CAROL
Put the gramophone on.
EVELYN
Now?
CAROL
Yes, please, or I shall cry again.
EVELYN
[_Rising_]
What shall we have?
CAROL
Something blaring and noisy.
EVELYN
What a baby you are!
CAROL
Am I? [_He puts on a foxtrot and stands by the machine looking at her.
After a pause she speaks._] I love this tune.
EVELYN
It’s not very new, I’m afraid. I must get some more of the latest ones.
CAROL
Are you ready for your lesson?
EVELYN
Lesson?
CAROL
Yes, your dancing lesson.
EVELYN
If you are.
CAROL
Of course I am! Come on.
[_She rises._]
EVELYN
I’ll push the table back. [_He does so._] There.
CAROL
Now then.
[_They begin to dance._]
EVELYN
Is the time all right?
CAROL
A scrap too fast.
EVELYN
Wait a minute.
[_He stops for a second and regulates the time._]
CAROL
That’s better.
[_They dance again._]
EVELYN
I’m so sorry. Did I kick you?
CAROL
No.
EVELYN
I warned you, didn’t I?
CAROL
Hold me a little tighter.
EVELYN
All right.
[_They dance in silence for a moment._]
CAROL
This is divine.
EVELYN
You’re not teaching me a thing.
CAROL
You don’t need it.
EVELYN
You’re just being polite. I dance like an elephant.
CAROL
Don’t be ridiculous. It would be terribly funny if anyone suddenly came
in and found us.
EVELYN
There’s not the least chance of it.
[_They dance in silence for a little._]
CAROL
Oh!
EVELYN
What is it?
CAROL
We nearly crashed into that chair.
EVELYN
I’m afraid I wasn’t concentrating.
CAROL
That’s very naughty of you. You must.
EVELYN
All right.
[_The record comes to an end._]
CAROL
Put on another.
EVELYN
Very well.
[_While he does so, CAROL looks at herself carefully in the glass over
the mantelpiece._]
CAROL
I’m enjoying myself frightfully.
EVELYN
Are you, really?
CAROL
Aren’t you?
EVELYN
You know I am.
[_He takes her in his arms again._]
CAROL
You really must hold me a little tighter—it’s so much easier to follow.
EVELYN
Like that?
CAROL
Yes—like that.
[_They stand still, she surrendering herself to him, and holds up her
face deliberately to be kissed._]
EVELYN
[_Softly_]
Carol!
[_He kisses her. They stand tightly clasped for a moment; then he
firmly disentangles himself and turns off the gramophone._]
CAROL
[_Sinking onto the sofa and passing her hand across her eyes_]
Oh, Evie!
EVELYN
[_In a different tone_]
I thought so.
CAROL
[_Looking up quickly_]
What do you mean?
EVELYN
It’s unbelievable.
[_He strides about a little._]
CAROL
[_Alarmed_]
What on earth are you talking about?
EVELYN
I was right. I knew it.
CAROL
[_Becoming exasperated_]
Knew what?
EVELYN
I’m not quite such easy game as all that.
CAROL
[_Rising_]
Evie!
EVELYN
What a little rotter you are.
CAROL
[_Outraged_]
What!!
EVELYN
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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