"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
CAROL
You don’t know a bit what I’m really like.
EVELYN
No.
CAROL
Do you want to?
EVELYN
Yes.
CAROL
I’m not sure that it’s wise.
EVELYN
Why not?
CAROL
You might be shocked.
EVELYN
As bad as that?
CAROL
Yes—as bad as that.
EVELYN
I don’t believe it.
CAROL
Good.
EVELYN
You’re too sensitive to behave really badly.
CAROL
That’s nonsense.
EVELYN
No, it isn’t.
CAROL
Sensitiveness hasn’t anything to do with it.
EVELYN
Yes, it has.
CAROL
Don’t contradict me.
EVELYN
[_With truculence_]
Why shouldn’t I?
CAROL
Because it infuriates me.
EVELYN
[_Slowly_]
We’re almost quarreling.
CAROL
Yes.
EVELYN
I’m sorry.
CAROL
Antagonism is a bad sign.
EVELYN
What do you mean?
CAROL
[_Suddenly burying her face in her hands_]
Oh, Evie!
EVELYN
[_Alarmed_]
What on earth’s the matter?
CAROL
[_Muffled_]
Nothing.
EVELYN
Carol, don’t—please—
[_He gets up and comes to her._]
CAROL
No, no. Sit down. Your man will be in in a moment.
EVELYN
Do tell me what’s wrong.
CAROL
Sit down, please.
EVELYN
All right.
[_He sits down._]
CAROL
Give me my bag, will you? It’s over there. I want to powder my nose.
[_EVELYN rises. When his back is toward her, an expression of extreme
satisfaction flits across CAROL’S face. By the time he has turned
she is once again bravely melancholy._]
EVELYN
Here.
[_He gives her her bag._]
CAROL
Thank you.
[_She looks up at him with a weary smile. BLACKWELL enters and takes
away the remains of the sweet._]
EVELYN
Serve the coffee at once, Blackwell; then I shan’t want you any more.
BLACKWELL
Very good, sir.
[_He goes out._]
CAROL
I feel better now.
EVELYN
I don’t suppose you’ll ever want to dine with me again.
CAROL
Don’t be silly. Of course I shall.
EVELYN
I seem to have depressed you terribly.
CAROL
No—it’s not your fault, really.
EVELYN
I wish I understood you a bit better.
CAROL
I’m glad you don’t.
[_BLACKWELL enters with coffee and liqueurs, which he places beside
EVELYN._]
EVELYN
Thank you, Blackwell. Good night.
BLACKWELL
Good night, sir.
[_He goes out._]
EVELYN
Coffee?
CAROL
Yes, please.
EVELYN
[_Pouring it out_]
Sugar?
CAROL
One.
EVELYN
[_Handing it to her_]
There. Cointreau or brandy?
CAROL
Cointreau—just a little.
EVELYN
The brandy’s very good.
CAROL
All right. Brandy, then—you’re so dominant.
EVELYN
Don’t laugh at me any more.
CAROL
I must a little.
EVELYN
Here you are.
[_He gives her some brandy and takes some himself._]
CAROL
Next time I come I’ll try to be more amusing.
EVELYN
I don’t want you to be amusing if you don’t feel like it.
CAROL
You’re awfully kind and gentle.
EVELYN
I want you to relax completely.
CAROL
I am relaxing completely.
EVELYN
I feel you need it.
CAROL
No one else has ever taken the trouble to feel that.
EVELYN
They’re all too occupied in enjoying themselves.
CAROL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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