"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
It is _not_ beside the point! How dare you behave like this! If you were
Edward’s Siamese twin you’ve no right to ask me here and insult me. You
surely don’t imagine that by talking until you’re blue in the face you
could ever alter my life one way or another. You’ve played a filthy
second-rate trick on me and you think you did it for Edward’s sake, but
all the time it was only to prove to yourself how clever you are. You’ve
got to let me go now—at once. Do you hear? If not I’ll scream the place
down. [_She rises and makes a dash for the door. He intercepts her. She
struggles. He grasps her wrist._] Let me go. Help! Help!
EVELYN
Shut up, you little fool!
[_He puts his hand over her mouth and drags her back to the sofa, upon
which she collapses, sobbing._]
CAROL
[_Almost hysterical, in muffled tones_]
How dare you! Oh, how dare you! It’s outrageous! It’s—
EVELYN
Do you want some brandy?
CAROL
Don’t speak to me.
EVELYN
[_With emphasis_]
Do you want some brandy!
CAROL
No.
EVELYN
You’d better have some. Stay where you are. [_He goes over and pours out
a glass of brandy and brings it to her._] Here—sit up.
CAROL
Go away. Don’t come near me.
EVELYN
You’re hysterical. Drink this and pull yourself together.
[_He puts his arm round her to lift her up. She wriggles free of him,
sits up quickly by herself, snatches the glass from his hand and
flings it into the fireplace._]
CAROL
I don’t want your filthy brandy.
EVELYN
That was childish.
CAROL
Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why? What have I ever done to you?
EVELYN
You’re on the verge of ruining the life of one of the best men that ever
lived.
CAROL
[_Tearfully_]
How?
EVELYN
You know perfectly well how.
CAROL
It’s no business of yours—what I do—ever.
EVELYN
I’ve made it my business. What you attempted to-night with me you’ve
accomplished with other men—you’ve flirted and encouraged them to make
love to you, and in many cases you’ve given yourself to them—
CAROL
Evie!
EVELYN
I don’t want you to deny it or affirm it. I _know_ it’s true, but I don’t
think Edward does; he loves you too much to believe it possible, and my
object in playing on you this second-rate trick, as you call it, is to
make you realize what a hideous mess you’re making both of his life and
your own. [_During this speech CAROL is looking at EVIE intently. He
begins to stride up and down while he talks._] Edward’s too sensitive and
reserved to fight for his own rights. I’ve known for ages that he wasn’t
happy—that something was weighing on his mind. To-day I asked him plump
out and he admitted—
[_He pauses._]
CAROL
What did he admit?
EVELYN
That he was worried and miserable about you.
CAROL
[_Calmly_]
And what did you advise him to do?
EVELYN
Give you hell.
CAROL
How crude of you!
EVELYN
Women of your sort require a little crudity occasionally.
CAROL
What do you mean “women of my sort”?
EVELYN
Do you want me to tell you?
CAROL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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