"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts — John Shaqi
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
No; I don’t want you to say any more at all.
EVELYN
You have the soul of a harlot!
CAROL
[_Suddenly bursting out laughing_]
Oh, Evie!
EVELYN
[_Losing control_]
Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh.
CAROL
[_Continuing to laugh_]
What do you expect me to do? You’re so ridiculous—
EVELYN
I suppose you consider anyone with decent ideals ridiculous?
CAROL
[_Laughing helplessly_]
Oh dear! Oh dear!
EVELYN
[_Working himself up more and more_]
You think it funny that I should make an attempt to defend the honor of
my best friend, who is too shamed by your utter wantonness to defend
himself—
CAROL
[_Growing hysterical_]
You’re mad—quite, quite mad—
EVELYN
You’re deliberately ruining his reputation and wrecking his happiness
because you never make the slightest effort to control your rotten
passions—
CAROL
[_Rising, trying to control her hysteria_]
How dare you say that—how dare you—
EVELYN
Dare! I’ll say it again and again. Rotten passions! All you live for, all
you think of—women of your type can’t exist without men—men—nothing but
men all the time—
CAROL
[_Frantically_]
Stop! Stop! You shan’t say any more. [_She gives him a ringing slap on
the face. He stands quite still._] Cad! cad! unutterable cad! [_She
gives him another slap between each word. He remains motionless. They
stand facing each other. CAROL puts her hand to her head._] I think—I
think I’m going to be ill.
[_She falls in a heap at his feet. He carries her back to the sofa. He
deposits her there and rushes to get some more brandy. When his back
is turned she lifts her head sharply and looks at him, then lets it
drop attractively against the side of the sofa. He returns and
ministers the brandy. After a slight pause she opens her eyes and
sits up and finishes the brandy._]
EVELYN
Be careful. Don’t spill it on your dress.
CAROL
I’m awfully sorry to be so stupid.
EVELYN
I didn’t mean to make you ill.
CAROL
[_Meekly_]
Please may I go home now?
EVELYN
You’d better wait a moment until you feel stronger. I won’t say any
more—I promise.
CAROL
My head aches.
EVELYN
Would you like some aspirin? I think I’ve got some somewhere.
CAROL
No, thanks.
EVELYN
It wasn’t out of any personal spite, you know—
CAROL
It doesn’t matter—it—
[_She bursts into tears._]
EVELYN
I say, don’t cry—please.
CAROL
I can’t help it.
[_She cries a little more._]
EVELYN
Please! Please!
CAROL
Leave me alone. I’ll be all right in a minute.
EVELYN
I had no intention of losing my temper. I apologize.
CAROL
[_With a fresh burst of tears_]
It’s all so—so horrible!
EVELYN
Carol—please, please don’t!
CAROL
[_Sobbing bitterly_]
I’d no idea—anyone could think of me like that.
EVELYN
I was only trying to show you, for Edward’s sake—
CAROL
Don’t—don’t say any more. You promised.
EVELYN
All right, but you see I—
CAROL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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