"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
It’s so comforting to know that we both look so awfully well. Can I have
a cigarette?
CAROL
Yes, of course. I’m so sorry. Here—
[_She hands her a box open._]
ZOE
Thank you, dear. There aren’t any in this box, but it doesn’t matter.
CAROL
How annoying! Wait a minute. [_She takes another box off a table, left._]
Here—
ZOE
[_Taking one_]
You seem a little distrait this morning, if I may say so.
CAROL
I’ve got rather a headache.
ZOE
I’m so sorry. You don’t look very well.
CAROL
I think, if you’ll forgive me, I’ll go and take some aspirin.
ZOE
Of course. I should lie down until lunch if I were you.
CAROL
Perhaps I will. Edward’s certain to be in soon.
ZOE
I’ll be perfectly happy waiting.
CAROL
You must come and dine one night.
ZOE
I’d adore to.
CAROL
Good-by for the present, dear.
[_She kisses her._]
ZOE
Good-by. I’m sorry you’re so seedy. I’m afraid you’ve been overdoing it
lately.
CAROL
[_Irritatedly_]
Overdoing what?
ZOE
[_Vaguely_]
Oh, everything.
CAROL
No, I haven’t.
ZOE
I’m so glad.
[_CAROL goes out. ZOE wanders round the room, smiling to herself,
examining various portraits, etc. After a moment EDWARD enters._]
EDWARD
Zoe! How long have you been here?
ZOE
Only a few minutes.
EDWARD
I’ve been out in the Park.
ZOE
I didn’t know it was still there.
EDWARD
I’m afraid you’re finding the old town sadly changed.
ZOE
I’m sure it’s much more hygienic now.
EDWARD
Have you seen Carol?
ZOE
Yes. She’s just gone to bed.
EDWARD
Gone to bed?
ZOE
She said she had a headache.
EDWARD
How do you think she’s looking?
ZOE
[_Laughing_]
Awfully well.
EDWARD
What are you laughing at?
ZOE
Carol always makes me laugh.
EDWARD
Why?
ZOE
She’s so consistent.
EDWARD
Are you lunching with me?
ZOE
If you like. I’ve got to go to Sloane Street first and look at Mary
Phillip’s house. She wants to let it to me.
EDWARD
Pick me up here on the way back.
ZOE
I really came to ask you to dine to-night and go to a play.
EDWARD
I’d love to. What do you want to see?
ZOE
A nice clean play, please, Edward.
EDWARD
Splendid. We shan’t have any trouble getting seats.
ZOE
I’m so old-fashioned—I like love stories without the slightest suggestion
of sex.
EDWARD
You ought to be a critic.
ZOE
You’re an awfully nice person to come back to!
EDWARD
[_Smiling_]
Am I?
ZOE
Yes. One picks up the threads exactly where they were dropped.
EDWARD
They were never dropped.
ZOE
Carol’s an awful fool.
EDWARD
Why?
ZOE
She could hold you if she wanted to.
EDWARD
Don’t be tiresome, Zoe.
ZOE
What are you going to do about it?
EDWARD
About what?
ZOE
Do you really want me to be explicit?
EDWARD
No. I know perfectly well what you mean.
ZOE
You’re wasting time.
EDWARD
Not at all. I’m working hard.
ZOE
You said that yesterday and it was no more convincing then than it is
now.
EDWARD
It’s true.
ZOE
Perhaps, but rather beside the point.
EDWARD
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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