"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three actsCoward, Noël
General
"This was a man" : $b A comedy in three acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy) -- 20th century; Triangles (Interpersonal relations) -- Drama
I think I shall go away again soon.
EDWARD
Oh, Zoe, please don’t!
ZOE
It’s going to be awkward if I stay.
EDWARD
No, it isn’t.
ZOE
We’re both on rather dangerous ground.
EDWARD
I don’t see why.
ZOE
Yes, you do, perfectly.
EDWARD
I do not.
ZOE
If I stay, we shall probably fall in love properly—we’re both at a
perilous age.
EDWARD
What if we do?
ZOE
It would be too horrible, with all this Carol business going on and
everything.
EDWARD
You’re crossing your bridges before you come to them.
ZOE
I shall go, all the same.
EDWARD
That is rank cowardice.
ZOE
No, it isn’t; it’s sound sense.
EDWARD
It will be beastly for me.
ZOE
Not so beastly as if I stayed, really—in the long run.
EDWARD
What could happen?
ZOE
Oh, the usual thing, I suppose—we should have an affair and spoil
everything.
EDWARD
I don’t see why.
ZOE
You’re being very obstinate this morning.
EDWARD
If I were in love with you at all, it would be in a very nice, restrained
way.
ZOE
We should both tire of that very quickly.
EDWARD
Zoe, how can you be so unpleasant?
ZOE
I’m only facing facts.
EDWARD
We’ve been together a good deal in the past.
ZOE
I know.
EDWARD
And everything was above reproach.
ZOE
Entirely.
EDWARD
Well, why can’t we go on like that?
ZOE
Because even if we do, people will say we don’t.
EDWARD
What does that matter?
ZOE
It matters a lot. I’ve had enough squalor in the past few years to last
me for life.
EDWARD
Yes, but I don’t see—
ZOE
Also I have a strange aversion to coming between man and wife.
EDWARD
Oh, shut up, Zoe.
ZOE
It’s true. I suffer from a pre-war conscience.
EDWARD
There’s no question of that, really.
ZOE
Don’t be silly. Of course there is.
EDWARD
Carol wouldn’t care.
ZOE
What difference does that make? Really, Edward, you’re being horribly
flaccid over the whole thing!
EDWARD
Don’t let’s argue about it.
ZOE
All right.
EDWARD
But please don’t go away again—just yet.
ZOE
I’ll think it over, Edward.
EDWARD
You’ve depressed me terribly.
ZOE
I’m sorry.
EDWARD
It’s all such a hopeless muddle.
ZOE
It needn’t be.
EDWARD
I’d no idea you were so designing.
ZOE
What a horrid thing to say!
EDWARD
It’s true though, isn’t it?
ZOE
Absolutely.
EDWARD
Oh, Zoe—
ZOE
I must go.
EDWARD
Remember lunch.
ZOE
I’ll pick you up here.
EDWARD
No, don’t—I’ll meet you.
ZOE
Where?
EDWARD
Berkeley—one o’clock.
ZOE
I’m sure to be late.
EDWARD
So am I.
ZOE
Good-by, dear.
[_She goes up to him and kisses him lightly._]
EDWARD
Zoe!
ZOE
That was part of the design!
[_She goes out. EDWARD walks up and down irritably for a moment, then
lights a cigarette and flings himself into an armchair. The telephone
rings. He gives an exclamation of annoyance and rises to answer it._]
EDWARD
[_At telephone_]
Hallo!... Yes—yes.... Who is it speaking?... No, I’m afraid you can’t.
She isn’t very well—
[_CAROL enters in time to catch the last sentence._]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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