Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
Perhaps one ought to have married. Kitty, for example. She would be old
now and fat; or old and thin, like a skeleton very imperfectly
disguised. Still, he had been very much in love with Kitty. Perhaps it
would have been a good thing if he had married her. Pooh! with a burst
of mocking laughter Mr. Cardan laughed aloud savagely. Marry indeed! She
looked very coy, no doubt; but you bet, she was a little tart
underneath, and lascivious as you make them. He remembered her with
hatred and contempt. Portentous obscenities reverberated through the
chambers of his mind.
He thought of arthritis, he thought of gout, of cataract, of
deafness.... And in any case, how many years were left him? Ten,
fifteen, twenty if he were exceptional. And what years, what years!
Mr. Cardan emptied the bottle and replacing the cork threw it into the
black water beneath him. The wine had done nothing to improve his mood.
He wished to God he were back at the palace, with people round him to
talk to. Alone, he was without defence. He tried to think of something
lively and amusing; indoor sports, for example. But instead of indoor
sports he found himself contemplating visions of disease, decrepitude,
death. And it was the same when he tried to think of reasonable, serious
things: what is art, for example? and what was the survival value to a
species of eyes or wings or protective colouring in their rudimentary
state, before they were developed far enough to see, fly or protect? Why
should the individuals having the first and still quite useless
variation in the direction of something useful have survived more
effectively than those who were handicapped by no eccentricity?
Absorbing themes. But Mr. Cardan couldn’t keep his attention fixed on
them. General paralysis of the insane, he reflected, was luckily an
ailment for which he had not qualified in the past; luckily!
miraculously, even! But stone, but neuritis, but fatty degeneration, but
diabetes.... Lord, how he wished he had somebody to talk to!
And all at once, as though in immediate answer to his prayer, he heard
the sound of voices approaching through the now complete darkness.
“Thank the Lord!” said Mr. Cardan, and scrambling to his feet he walked
in the direction from which the voices came. Two black silhouettes, one
tall and masculine, the other, very small, belonging to a woman, loomed
up out of the dark. Mr. Cardan removed the cigar from his mouth, took
off his hat and bowed in their direction.
“_Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita_,” he began,
“_mi ritrovai per una selva oscura_,
“_che la diritta via era smarrita_.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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