Artists and patrons -- Fiction; Authors and readers -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Italy -- Fiction; Satire
“Pardonable, no doubt,” said Calamy. “But when one comes to think it
over, not very reasonable. For, after all, there’s nothing really to be
very proud of, there’s nothing very much to boast about. Consider first
of all the other heroes who have had the same sort of successes—more
notable, very probably, and more numerous than one’s own. Consider them.
What do you see? Rows of insolent grooms and pugilists; leather-faced
ruffians and disgusting old satyrs; louts with curly hair and no brains,
and cunning little pimps like weasels; soft-palmed young epicenes and
hairy gladiators—a vast army composed of the most odious specimens of
humanity. Is one to be proud of belonging to their numbers?”
“Why not?” asked Mr. Cardan. “One should always thank God for whatever
native talents one possesses. If your talent happens to lie in the
direction of higher mathematics, praise God; and if in the direction of
seduction, praise God just the same. And thanking God, when one comes to
examine the process a little closely, is very much the same as boasting
or being proud. I see no harm in boasting a little of one’s Casanovesque
capacities. You young men are always so damned intolerant. You won’t
allow any one to go to heaven, or hell, or nowhere, whichever the case
may be, by any road except the one you happen to approve of.... You
should take a leaf out of the Indians’ book. The Indians calculate that
there are eighty-four thousand different types of human beings, each
with its own way of getting through life. They probably underestimate.”
Calamy laughed. “I only speak for my type,” he said.
“And Hovenden and I for ours,” said Mr. Cardan. “Don’t we, Hovenden?”
“Oh yes. Yes, of course,” Lord Hovenden answered; and for some reason he
blushed.
“Proceed,” said Mr. Cardan, refilling his glass.
“Well then,” Calamy went on, “belonging to the species I do belong to, I
can’t take much satisfaction in these successes. The more so when I
consider their nature. For either you’re in love with the woman or you
aren’t; either you’re carried away by your inflamed imagination (for,
after all, the person you’re really violently in love with is always
your own invention and the wildest of fancies) or by your senses and
your intellectual curiosity. If you aren’t in love, it’s a mere
experiment in applied physiology, with a few psychological
investigations thrown in to make it a little more interesting. But if
you are, it means that you become enslaved, involved, dependent on
another human being in a way that’s positively disgraceful, and the more
disgraceful the more there is in you to be enslaved and involved.”
“It wasn’t Browning’s opinion,” said Mr. Cardan.
“The woman yonder, there’s no use in life
But just to obtain her.”
“Browning was a fool,” said Calamy.
But Lord Hovenden was silently of opinion that Browning was quite right.
He thought of Irene’s face, looking out of the little window in the
copper bell.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account