But, by that time, the Odd Girl had developed such improving powers of
catalepsy, that she had become a shining example of that very
inconvenient disorder. She would stiffen, like a Guy Fawkes endowed with
unreason, on the most irrelevant occasions. I would address the servants
in a lucid manner, pointing out to them that I had painted Master B.’s
room and balked the paper, and taken Master B.’s bell away and balked the
ringing, and if they could suppose that that confounded boy had lived and
died, to clothe himself with no better behaviour than would most
unquestionably have brought him and the sharpest particles of a
birch-broom into close acquaintance in the present imperfect state of
existence, could they also suppose a mere poor human being, such as I
was, capable by those contemptible means of counteracting and limiting
the powers of the disembodied spirits of the dead, or of any spirits?—I
say I would become emphatic and cogent, not to say rather complacent, in
such an address, when it would all go for nothing by reason of the Odd
Girl’s suddenly stiffening from the toes upward, and glaring among us
like a parochial petrifaction.
Streaker, the housemaid, too, had an attribute of a most discomfiting
nature. I am unable to say whether she was of an unusually lymphatic
temperament, or what else was the matter with her, but this young woman
became a mere Distillery for the production of the largest and most
transparent tears I ever met with. Combined with these characteristics,
was a peculiar tenacity of hold in those specimens, so that they didn’t
fall, but hung upon her face and nose. In this condition, and mildly and
deplorably shaking her head, her silence would throw me more heavily than
the Admirable Crichton could have done in a verbal disputation for a
purse of money. Cook, likewise, always covered me with confusion as with
a garment, by neatly winding up the session with the protest that the
Ouse was wearing her out, and by meekly repeating her last wishes
regarding her silver watch.
As to our nightly life, the contagion of suspicion and fear was among us,
and there is no such contagion under the sky. Hooded woman? According
to the accounts, we were in a perfect Convent of hooded women. Noises?
With that contagion downstairs, I myself have sat in the dismal parlour,
listening, until I have heard so many and such strange noises, that they
would have chilled my blood if I had not warmed it by dashing out to make
discoveries. Try this in bed, in the dead of the night: try this at your
own comfortable fire-side, in the life of the night. You can fill any
house with noises, if you will, until you have a noise for every nerve in
your nervous system.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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