Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"Like autumn leaves with the sun on them!" said Marlowe ecstatically.
"What an extraordinary thing! That is an absolutely exact description.
Her eyes were a deep blue...."
"Or, rather, green."
"Blue."
"Green. There is a shade of green that looks blue."
"What the devil do you know about the colour of her eyes?" demanded
Eustace heatedly. "Am I telling you about her, or are you telling me?"
"My dear old man, don't get excited. Don't you see I am trying to
construct this girl in my imagination, to visualise her? I don't
pretend to doubt your special knowledge, but after all green eyes
generally do go with red hair and there are all shades of green. There
is the bright green of meadow grass, the dull green of the uncut
emerald, the faint yellowish green of your face at the present
moment...."
"Don't talk about the colour of my face! Now you've gone and reminded
me just when I was beginning to forget."
"Awfully sorry! Stupid of me! Get your mind off it again--quick! What
were you saying? Oh, yes, this girl. I always think it helps one to
form a mental picture of people if one knows something about their
tastes--what sort of things they are interested in, their favourite
topics of conversation, and so on. This Miss Bennett now, what did she
like talking about?"
"Oh, all sorts of things."
"Yes, but what?"
"Well, for one thing she was very fond of poetry. It was that which
first drew us together."
"Poetry!" Sam's heart sank a little. He had read a certain amount of
poetry at school, and once he had won a prize of three shillings and
sixpence for the last line of a limerick in a competition in a weekly
paper, but he was self-critic enough to know that poetry was not his
long suit. Still there was a library on board ship and no doubt it
would be possible to borrow the works of some standard poet and bone
them up from time to time.
"Any special poet?"
"Well, she seemed to like my stuff. You never read my sonnet-sequence
on Spring, did you?"
"No. What other poets did she like besides you?"
"Tennyson principally," said Eustace Hignett with a reminiscent quiver
in his voice. "The hours we have spent together reading the Idylls of
the King!"
"The which of what?" enquired Sam, taking a pencil from his pocket and
shooting out a cuff.
"The Idylls of the King. My good man, I know you have a soul which
would be considered inadequate by a common earthworm, but you have
surely heard of Tennyson's Idylls of the King?"
"Oh, _those_! Why, my dear old chap; Tennyson's Idylls of the
King! Well, I should say! Have I heard of Tennyson's Idylls of the
King? Well, really! I suppose you haven't a copy with you on board by
any chance?"
"There is a copy in my kit-bag. The very one we used to read together.
Take it and keep it or throw it overboard. I don't want to see it
again."
Sam prospected among the shirts, collars and trousers in the bag and
presently came upon a morocco-bound volume. He laid it beside him
on the lounge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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