Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
However, these were small matters. No doubt she had been in a hurry and
all that sort of thing. The important point was that he was going to
see her. When a man's afraid, sings the bard, a beautiful maid is a
cheering sight to see; and the same truth holds good when a man has
made an exhibition of himself at a ship's concert. A woman's gentle
sympathy, that was what Samuel Marlowe wanted more than anything else
at the moment. That, he felt, was what the doctor ordered. He scrubbed
the burnt cork off his face with all possible speed and changed his
clothes and made his way to the upper deck. It was like Billie, he
felt, to have chosen this spot for their meeting. It would be deserted
and it was hallowed for them both by sacred associations.
She was standing at the rail, looking out over the water. The moon was
quite full. Out on the horizon to the south its light shone on the sea,
making it look like the silver beach of some distant fairy island.
The girl appeared to be wrapped in thought, and it was not till the
sharp crack of Sam's head against an overhanging stanchion announced
his approach that she turned.
"Oh, is that you?"
"Yes."
"You've been a long time."
"It wasn't an easy job," explained Sam, "getting all that burnt cork
off. You've no notion how the stuff sticks. You have to use butter...."
She shuddered.
"Don't!"
"But I did. You have to with burnt cork."
"Don't tell me these horrible things." Her voice rose almost
hysterically. "I never want to hear the words burnt cork mentioned
again as long as I live."
"I feel exactly the same." Sam moved to her side.
"Darling," he said in a low voice, "it was like you to ask me to meet
you here. I know what you were thinking. You thought that I should need
sympathy. You wanted to pet me, to smooth my wounded feelings, to hold
me in your arms, and tell me that, as we loved each other, what did
anything else matter?"
"I didn't."
"You didn't?"
"No, I didn't."
"Oh, you didn't! I thought you did!" He looked at her wistfully.
"I thought," he said, "that possibly you might have wished to comfort
me. I have been through a great strain. I have had a shock...."
"And what about me?" she demanded passionately. "Haven't I had a
shock?"
He melted at once.
"Have you had a shock, too? Poor little thing! Sit down and tell me all
about it."
She looked away from him, her face working.
"Can't you understand what a shock I have had? I thought you were the
perfect knight."
"Yes, isn't it?"
"Isn't what?"
"I thought you said it was a perfect night."
"I said I thought _you_ were a perfect knight."
"Oh, ah!"
A sailor crossed the deck, a dim figure in the shadows, went over to a
sort of raised summerhouse with a brass thingummy in it, fooled about
for a moment, and went away again. Sailors earn their money easily.
"Yes?" said Sam when he had gone.
"I forget what I was saying."
"Something about my being the perfect knight."
"Yes. I thought you were."
"That's good."
"But you're not!"
"No?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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