Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Sam Marlowe had watched his cousin's dash for the open with a
consternation so complete that his sense seemed to have left him. A
general, deserted by his men on some stricken field, might have felt
something akin to his emotion. Of all the learned professions, the
imitation of Mr. Frank Tinney is the one which can least easily be
carried through single-handed. The man at the piano, the leader of the
orchestra, is essential. He is the life-blood of the entertainment.
Without him, nothing can be done.
For an instant Sam stood there, gaping blankly. Then the open door of
the saloon seemed to beckon an invitation. He made for it, reached it,
passed through it. That concluded his efforts in aid of the Seamen's
Orphans and Widows.
The spell which had lain on the audience broke. This imitation seemed
to them to possess in an extraordinary measure the one quality which
renders amateur imitations tolerable, that of brevity. They had seen
many amateur imitations, but never one as short as this. The saloon
echoed with their applause.
It brought no balm to Samuel Marlowe. He did not hear it. He had fled
for refuge to his stateroom and was lying in the lower berth, chewing
the pillow, a soul in torment.
CHAPTER SEVEN
There was a tap at the door. Sam sat up dizzily. He had lost all count
of time.
"Who's that?"
"I have a note for you, sir."
It was the level voice of J. B. Midgeley, the steward. The stewards of
the White Star Line, besides being the civillest and most obliging body
of men in the world, all have soft and pleasant voices. A White Star
steward, waking you up at six-thirty, to tell you that your bath is
ready, when you wanted to sleep on till twelve, is the nearest human
approach to the nightingale.
"A what?"
"A note, sir."
Sam jumped up and switched on the light. He went to the door and took
the note from J. B. Midgeley, who, his mission accomplished, retired in
an orderly manner down the passage. Sam looked at the letter with a
thrill. He had never seen the hand-writing before, but, with the eye of
love, he recognized it. It was just the sort of hand he would have
expected Billie to write, round and smooth and flowing, the writing of a
warm-hearted girl. He tore open the envelope.
"Please come up to the top deck. I want to speak to you."
Sam could not disguise it from himself that he was a little
disappointed. I don't know if you see anything wrong with the letter,
but the way Sam looked at it was that, for a first love-letter, it
might have been longer and perhaps a shade warmer. And, without running
any risk of writer's cramp, she might have signed it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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