Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Simply because he had been disappointed in love. He had sought relief
by slinking off alone to the most benighted spot he knew, in the same
spirit as other men in similar circumstances had gone off to the
Rockies to shoot grizzly-bears.
To a certain extent the experiment had proved successful. If the Hotel
Magnificent had not cured his agony, the service and the cooking there
had at least done much to take his mind off it. His heart still ached,
but he felt equal to going to London and seeing his father, which, of
course, he ought to have done immediately upon his arrival in England.
He rose from his bench, and, going back to the hotel to enquire about
trains, observed a familiar figure in the lobby. Eustace Hignett was
leaning over the counter, in conversation with the desk-clerk.
"Hullo, Eustace!" said Sam.
"Hullo, Sam!" said Eustace.
There was a brief silence. The conversational opening had been a little
unfortunately chosen, for it reminded both men of a painful episode in
their recent lives.
"What are you doing here?" asked Eustace.
"What are _you_ doing here?" asked Sam.
"I came to see you," said Eustace, leading his cousin out of the lobby
and onto the bleak esplanade. A fine rain had begun to fall, and
Bingley looked, if possible, worse than ever. "I asked for you at your
club, and they told me you had come down here."
"What did you want to see me about?"
"The fact is, old man, I'm in a bit of a hole."
"What's the matter?"
"It's rather a long story," said Eustace deprecatingly.
"Go ahead."
"I don't know where to begin."
"Have a dash at starting at the beginning."
Eustace stared gloomily at a stranded crab on the beach below. The crab
stared gloomily back.
"Well, you remember my telling you about the girl I met on the boat?"
"Jane Something?"
"Jane Hubbard," said Eustace reverently. "Sam, I love that girl."
"I know. You told me."
"But I didn't tell _her_. I tried to muster up the nerve, but we
got to Southampton without my having clicked. What a dashed difficult
thing a proposal is to bring off, isn't it! I didn't bring it off, and
it began to look to me as though I was in the soup. And then she told
me something which gave me an idea. She said the Bennetts had invited
her to stay with them in the country when she got to England, Old Mr.
Bennett and his pal Mortimer, Bream's father, were trying to get a
house somewhere which they could share. Only so far they hadn't managed
to find the house they wanted. When I heard that, I said 'Ha!'"
"You said what?" asked Sam.
"I said 'Ha!'"
"Why?"
"Because I had an idea. Don't interrupt, old man, or you'll get me
muddled. Where was I?"
"I don't know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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