Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
"It can," said George. "We know Holland and the Rhine. Very well, my
suggestion is that we take the boat to Hamburg, see Berlin and Dresden,
and work our way to the Schwarzwald, through Nuremberg and Stuttgart."
"There are some pretty bits in Mesopotamia, so I've been told," murmured
Harris.
George said Mesopotamia was too much out of our way, but that the Berlin-
Dresden route was quite practicable. For good or evil, he persuaded us
into it.
"The machines, I suppose," said George, "as before. Harris and I on the
tandem, J.--"
"I think not," interrupted Harris, firmly. "You and J. on the tandem, I
on the single."
"All the same to me," agreed George. "J. and I on the tandem, Harris--"
"I do not mind taking my turn," I interrupted, "but I am not going to
carry George _all_ the way; the burden should be divided."
"Very well," agreed Harris, "we'll divide it. But it must be on the
distinct understanding that he works."
"That he what?" said George.
"That he works," repeated Harris, firmly; "at all events, uphill."
"Great Scott!" said George; "don't you want _any_ exercise?"
There is always unpleasantness about this tandem. It is the theory of
the man in front that the man behind does nothing; it is equally the
theory of the man behind that he alone is the motive power, the man in
front merely doing the puffing. The mystery will never be solved. It is
annoying when Prudence is whispering to you on the one side not to overdo
your strength and bring on heart disease; while Justice into the other
ear is remarking, "Why should you do it all? This isn't a cab. He's not
your passenger": to hear him grunt out:
"What's the matter--lost your pedals?"
Harris, in his early married days, made much trouble for himself on one
occasion, owing to this impossibility of knowing what the person behind
is doing. He was riding with his wife through Holland. The roads were
stony, and the machine jumped a good deal.
"Sit tight," said Harris, without turning his head.
What Mrs. Harris thought he said was, "Jump off." Why she should have
thought he said "Jump off," when he said "Sit tight," neither of them can
explain.
Mrs. Harris puts it in this way, "If you had said, 'Sit tight,' why
should I have jumped off?"
Harris puts it, "If I had wanted you to jump off, why should I have said
'Sit tight!'?"
The bitterness is past, but they argue about the matter to this day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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