Three men on the bummelJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Three men on the bummel
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Bicycle touring -- Fiction; Black Forest (Germany) -- Fiction; British -- Germany -- Fiction; Humorous stories
"Please, sir, trees, sir."
"And what else?"
"Toadstools, sir." This after a pause.
The Professor was not quite sure about the toadstools, but on referring
to the text he found that the boy was right; toadstools had been
mentioned.
"Quite right," admitted the Professor, "toadstools grew there. And what
else? What do you find underneath trees in a wood?"
"Please, sir, earth, sir."
"No; no; what grows in a wood besides trees?"
"Oh, please, sir, bushes, sir."
"Bushes; very good. Now we are getting on. In this wood there were
trees and bushes. And what else?"
He pointed to a small boy near the bottom, who having decided that the
wood was too far off to be of any annoyance to him, individually, was
occupying his leisure playing noughts and crosses against himself. Vexed
and bewildered, but feeling it necessary to add something to the
inventory, he hazarded blackberries. This was a mistake; the poet had
not mentioned blackberries.
"Of course, Klobstock would think of something to eat," commented the
Professor, who prided himself on his ready wit. This raised a laugh
against Klobstock, and pleased the Professor.
"You," continued he, pointing to a boy in the middle; "what else was
there in this wood besides trees and bushes?"
"Please, sir, there was a torrent there."
"Quite right; and what did the torrent do?"
"Please, sir, it gurgled."
"No; no. Streams gurgle, torrents--?"
"Roar, sir."
"It roared. And what made it roar?"
This was a poser. One boy--he was not our prize intellect, I
admit--suggested the girl. To help us the Professor put his question in
another form:
"When did it roar?"
Our third boy, again coming to the rescue, explained that it roared when
it fell down among the rocks. I think some of us had a vague idea that
it must have been a cowardly torrent to make such a noise about a little
thing like this; a pluckier torrent, we felt, would have got up and gone
on, saying nothing about it. A torrent that roared every time it fell
upon a rock we deemed a poor spirited torrent; but the Professor seemed
quite content with it.
"And what lived in this wood beside the girl?" was the next question.
"Please, sir, birds, sir."
"Yes, birds lived in this wood. What else?"
Birds seemed to have exhausted our ideas.
"Come," said the Professor, "what are those animals with tails, that run
up trees?"
We thought for a while, then one of us suggested cats.
This was an error; the poet had said nothing about cats; squirrels was
what the Professor was trying to get.
I do not recall much more about this wood in detail. I only recollect
that the sky was introduced into it. In places where there occurred an
opening among the trees you could by looking up see the sky above you;
very often there were clouds in this sky, and occasionally, if I remember
rightly, the girl got wet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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