BROXOPP (_confidently_). They will. I can make them like anything. I
can make them _cry_ for beans. They will lean out of their little
cradles and hold out their little hands and say: “Broxopp. I want
Broxopp. Give me my beans.”
NANCY (_seeing them_). The darlings. (_Business-like_) Now tell me all
about it.
BROXOPP (_really meaning to this time_). It began with—Ah, Nancy, it
began with _you_. I might have known it would. I owe it, like
everything else, to you.
NANCY (_awed_). To me?
BROXOPP. To you. It was the nail-brush.
NANCY. The nail-brush?
BROXOPP. Yes, you told me the other day to buy a nail-brush. (_Looking
at his fingers_) You were quite right. As you said, a gentleman is
known by his hands. I hadn’t thought of it before. Always tell me,
darling. Well, I went into a chemist’s. Fordyce had given me fifteen
guineas. I had the odd shillings in my pocket and I suddenly
remembered. There was a very nice gentlemanly young fellow behind the
counter, and as sometimes happens on these occasions, I got into
conversation with him.
NANCY (_smiling to herself_). Yes, darling.
BROXOPP. I told him something of my outlook on life. I spoke of the
lack of imagination which is the curse of this country, instancing the
man Spenlow as an example of the type with whom we artists had to
deal. He interrupted me to say that he had found it so, too. A patent
food which he had composed in his leisure moments—I broke in hastily.
“Tell me of your food,” I said. “Perhaps,” and I smote my breast,
“perhaps _I_ am the capitalist for whom you look.”
NANCY. The five hundred pounds!
BROXOPP. The five hundred pounds. The nest-egg which I had been
keeping for just such a moment. In a flash I saw that the moment had
come.
NANCY (_a little frightened_). Then we shall never have that five
hundred pounds behind us again.
BROXOPP. But think of the thousands we shall have in front of us!
Millions!
NANCY. We seemed so safe with that in the bank. My little inheritance.
No, darling, I’m not disagreeing. I know you’re quite right. But I’m
just a little frightened. You see, I’m not so brave as you.
BROXOPP. But you will be brave _with_ me? You believe in me?
NANCY. Oh, yes, yes. (_Bravely_) Go on.
BROXOPP (_going on_). He told me about his discovery. A food for
babies. Thomson’s Food for Babies, he called it. (_Scornfully_) No
wonder nobody would look at it. “The name you want on that food,” I
said, “is Broxopp.” Who is Thomson? Anybody. The next man you meet may
be Thomson. But there is only one Broxopp—the Great Broxopp. (_With
an inspired air_) Broxopp’s Beans for Babies!
NANCY (_timidly_). I still don’t quite see why beans.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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