Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
"More, and yet not quite so much," interrupted Franz, "What we do from
affection for those we love, we ought to do for others from a sense of
justice; that is, from a conviction that the interests of all men are
represented in each. Love and Justice stand in the same relation to
each other as individual and species. One can not exist without the
other, for they need each other mutually. Justice can never teach us
all the thousand little acts of tenderness which we lavish upon those
we love, as individual love does not aid us any longer when we are
called upon to help a brotherhood, a nation, or all mankind."
"You may be right," replied Oswald, "and what you say renders it easier
for me to make a confession which I was about to make. I honored my
father deeply, but I did not love him; on the contrary, I often
experienced, as I only felt clearly in later years, a fear approaching
repugnance, when I came in closer contact with the strange man. Now I
hardly wonder at it, since I have found out that nature probably never
produced two beings more radically different than my father and myself.
We were as unlike in body as in mind and in inclination. I loved
already, as a boy, with perfect passion, everything brilliant and
splendid, and whatever is beautiful in nature and the world of men. I
was enthusiastically fond of my schoolmates, who rejoiced in the
youthful ornaments of golden locks, red cheeks, and bright eyes. I
loved to visit in houses where everything was elegant and in style,
after the manner of those days. I attached much importance to my dress,
and liked to hear it when women called me a handsome boy.
"You may imagine how little a young fellow with such wants and such
inclinations must have suited, as a companion, a misanthropic
hypochondriac, whose manner of life he was nevertheless forced to share
to a certain degree. For although my father allowed me a certain amount
of liberty, which was hardly in keeping with his general views, and
although he indulged me in my love of fine clothes and the comforts of
life to a degree which I have never been able to comprehend, I knew
nevertheless that he was deeply offended by this fondness of mine for a
world which he despised. I tried, therefore, very hard, to wean myself
from such a life, and succeeded all the more readily in my efforts, as
I soon discovered in the solitude, which was at first intensely hateful
to me, a source which changes the most desolate desert into a blooming
paradise--the Castalian spring of poetry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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