Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
When I thought the conversation could grow no worse, his eyes took on
an eerie glow and he related to Norm the events of one of his past
vacations, wherein he and several relatives traveled to Montana. From
a previous trip, I knew Montana was a state resplendent with ground
squirrels, and had enjoyed feeding them on one memorable occasion. The
man, however, found the animals satisfying for quite a different
reason; he, his son and another man spent an afternoon gunning down
approximately 400 squirrels. It was a lavish affair which had afforded
him pure delight; his excitement over the reckless slaughter was
complete and shameless. He had done some ranchers a great service, he
raved. As he blasted away, I am sure that service was the last thing
on his mind.
I gritted my teeth, glad that none of the conversation had been
directed to me, while Norm, visibly unimpressed and equally disgusted
by the man, inched toward the car. Fortunately, the man's wife
appeared from the darkness of a motel room and we were spared further
discussion of the ground squirrel Armageddon.
"Be seein' ya'," he offered.
"Yeh," Norm's tight-lipped response almost had to be cranked from his
throat.
Pulling from the motel lot was a relief. "Now there is a guy who likes
to kill," I said.
"Yeh," Norm replied. "A good ol' boy. . . nothing like blowing up a
few rodents on a weekend..."
The sheer number of his kill was enough to astonish, yet more
disturbing was his unrestrainable enjoyment of the event. There was no
nobility whatsoever in his action, for no one had asked for his
assistance or solicited a need for a specific harvest of the animals.
Certainly the grazing cattle injured themselves in rodent holes, but
killing aside, the man took no interest in filling the holes in the
line of duty. Thus, amid hundreds of bodies, the real menace remained.
In context of need, hunting was natural, but when utilized as an
outlet, a fulfillment of the need to kill for its own sake, hunting
terrified me. I voiced my sentiments to Norm and we wondered aloud
about the possible outcome if no such outlet was available. How would
the killing need be vented?
We drove into the park and experienced the reminiscent awe of the
mountains. It was unparalleled beauty.
After twisting through the pines we pulled off the road at a scenic
turn off and roosted atop a pile of boulders for the rest of the
afternoon. Occasionally a timid chipmunk would appear, nervously
twitching its tail until our presence caused it to scoot behind a rock
or bush. Once again, the sadistic mailman crossed my mind, and I
wondered how the Colorado rodent population would fare. With luck, he
had left his arsenal at home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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