“I shouldn’t have come here,” she said. “I love it too much. Those
trees. They look so surprised. I have a guilty passion for pine trees.”
Driving the faithful car had strengthened George. Even the paltriest
has an encouraged sense of competence with that steady tattoo
underneath his feet. The artist that lay printed like a fossil in
George’s close-packed heart--the artist that only Joyce had ever
relished--always responded to the drum of the engine. He adored the
car; when he drove alone to the Island (sending the family by train) he
sang to her most of the way. This was _his_ guilty passion. Now it was
the car’s rhyming vitality that came to his rescue. He broke the glass.
He cut himself, but he got through.
“Any kind of love is too much,” he said.
Then he was grieved to find himself uttering such a cheap oracle; but
it comforted Joyce because she saw it was a symptom. It showed that
he was trying to tell the truth. She did not dare look at him: she
was too conscious of the others behind them, who seemed as massively
attentive as an audience in a theatre. Then in a wave of annoyance,
Surely I have a right to look where I want? She did so. She could see
the confidential tilt of his eyebrow so plainly, she knew he was hers
for the taking. Nothing but themselves could stand between them.
“How queer: that’s just what I was thinking,” she told the eyebrow.
“Oh, do you believe in telepathy?” chirped Ruth. “Ben sometimes knows
exactly what I’m thinking without my saying a word.”
It can’t happen often, George thought.
“What were you laughing at?” he found time to ask her, as the others
were descending from the car.
“I was just thinking, there’s not much danger of my meeting God,
because I’m not pure in heart.”
* * * * *
“Oh, I shall be perfectly comfortable anywhere,” she said.
The single swathe of sunshine carved the hall, dividing it into two
dusks as the word _Now_ divides one’s mind. All, all unchanged: the
series of hemispherical bronze gongs at the dining-room door, the
wakeful asthma of the tall clock, the wide banistered stairway with its
air of waiting to creak. The soft, gold-sliced shadow trembled with
small sounds, and light voices of children drifted down from above.
If this was still real, then what was her life of to-day? Why pretend
any longer to make the world seem reasonable? It was all a delightful
ironic farce with an audience applauding the wrong moments and the
Author gritting his teeth in the wings. What use was Time if it availed
so little?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account